Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: oracle@eleazar.dartmouth.edu (Brian T. Coughlin) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Christian jokes Message-ID: Date: 10 Nov 90 13:34:50 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH Lines: 62 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu Hello, all! Seeing as how Christian humour is coming into vogue, I thought I'd post this oldie-but-goodie that I heard at a retreat in Wisconsin: Late one night, a burglar was sneaking into a very wealthy home, which happened to have its front door unlocked. Chuckling at his fortune, the burglar sneaked through the door, and prepared to burgle. :) Through the front door, the burglar started sneaking down the long, echo-prone hallway toward the study, where he knew a safe was kept. But in mid-sneak, he heard a tiny voice echo through the hall, saying: "Jesus sees you, and I see you." The burglar jumped and looked around, but saw no one. He scratched his head, looked about one last time, and then continued on, dismissing the event as some sort of weird echo-effect of the hallway. At the door to the study, the burglar took out his lock-picking set and began to work at the study door. Soon, the burglar heard the satisfying *click* of the lock un-locking, and he opened the door to sneak in, only to be met again by a tiny voice, which said: "Jesus sees you, and I see you." The burglar looked around in bewilderment, nonplussed. This was weird. He looked into the dimly-lit study (the master of the house had left his desk-lamp on!), and then back into the hall, but no one was to be seen. He cleared his ears out with his finger, and shook his head, resolving to get plenty of rest tonight and get his hearing checked after his escape to Brazil. Walking through the doorway, he spied the safe next to the desk, and he quickly sneaked over to start his attempt at cracking it. Right before he started turning the safe dial, a tiny voice called from right behind him: "Jesus sees you, and I see you." Jumping and turning around, the burglar turns to see a graceful, suspended bird cage, in which sat a large, colorful parrot, which said again: "Jesus sees you, and I see you." The burglar stood for a moment, then burst out laughing so hard that he sank down to the floor, leaning against the desk and guffaw-ing, but only to stop, dumbfounded, at the sight of two gleaming eyes under the bird cage... which were attached to a very large, very mean-looking Doberman with gleaming, white teeth. The parrot flapped its wings in its cage and squawked out in its small voice: "Sic'em, Jesus!!" ---- Take care! Sincerely, Brian Coughlin oracle@eleazar.dartmouth.edu