Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!swrinde!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!mips!dimacs.rutgers.edu!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: wagner@karazm.math.uh.edu (David Wagner) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Legalism? (was Re: divorce and remarriage) Message-ID: Date: 14 Nov 90 08:38:06 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: University of Houston -- Department of Mathematics Lines: 116 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu So far there has been much bandwidth expended on this issue of divorce (and remarriage), but no one has quite hit the nail on the head. Our understanding of Christ's teaching on this matter will be improved if we concentrate on his words in Matthew 19:4-6: 'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female", and said "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Here our Lord defines marriage to be a 'one flesh' relationship between a man and a woman. He says that it is God who has joined them together, and commands us not to break this relationship. To break it is a sin. This is the foundation of the Christian teaching regarding marriage. To concentrate on rules or exceptions that allow divorce, without understanding this underlying principle, really is legalism. Now read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. Paul urges the Corinthians, and us, to 'flee from sexual immorality.'(v.18) He comments, in v. 15, 16, "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." There are a number of things we can learn from this passage. In particular it appears to answer Richard O'Keefe's question rather clearly. In addition it describes the relationship between Christ and his believers as a kind of marriage -- which is dealt with more clearly elsewhere, where the church is described as the Bride of Christ. However I quote this simply to show that this 'one flesh' relationship also occurs when one uses a prostitute. Needless to say, this kind of 'one flesh' relationship does not have God's blessing, as does marriage. -- although one might note that Christ descended from such a relationship between Judah and Tamar! The sanctity of marriage is such that it must not be broken even if one partner is an unbeliever. For Peter tells us that a wife should submit even to an unbelieving husband (1 Peter 3) so that he may be won for Christ 'without talk by the behavior of their wives'. Paul gives similar instruction in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. But in verse 15 he says, "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound under such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." I read this as follows: If one partner deserts the other (permanently, as far as we can tell, and for no good reason), the one flesh relationship, i.e., the marriage, is broken. Actually such a person shows his unbelief by abandoning the marriage. The innocent spouse is not bound in such a marriage. He or she may remarry. In Lutheran circles we call this 'malicious desertion'. It was with a note of irony that I read, about a year ago, that when some of my ancestors, the Hepplers, left Vaihingen, Germany, around the year 1700, to come to America, that the wife was left behind. Church records show that she was 'maliciously deserted'! :-) and :-( Similarly Jesus tells us that in the case of 'marital unfaithfulness' (Matthew 5:32, NIV), one may divorce. Really the case is that one partner has broken the 'one flesh' relationship by joining with another - without God's blesssing of marriage. The sin is breaking the bond; the divorce that follows simply recognized this fact. One ought to examine whether in fact the bond is broken; in my opinion, an isolated lapse should be forgiven and need not result in divorce. As Peter asked Jesus, 'How many times must I forgive my brother? Seven times? The answer he got was, 'You must forgive him seven times seventy times' (or perhaps 77 times, I can't find the passage. The numbers are not to be taken literally, of course). Cases of spouse abuse can be taken as 'malicious desertion', but again, one must examine whether the marriage bond is really broken or not. I've known at least one case like this, and believe me, it is difficult and painful to deal with. Needless to say, (I hope) we should not advise the married man who consorts with a prostitute to be faithful to the prostitute and not to his wife! For his public confession is that he is married to his wife. He is guilty of false witness and of adultery. He should repent by returning to his wife - if she will have him. Otherwise he should be excommunicated, as was the man guilty of incest, as described in 1 Corinthians. Yours in God's grace, David H. Wagner a confessional Lutheran "Oh, blessed home where man and wife Together lead a godly life, By deeds their faith confessing! There many a happy day is spent, There Jesus gladly will consent To tarry with his blessing. "If they have given Him their heart, The place of honor set apart For Him each night and morrow, Then He the storms of life will calm, Will bring for ev'ry wound a balm, And change to joy their sorrow. "And if their home be dark and drear, The cruse be empty, hunger near, All hope within them dying, Let them despair not in distress, Lo Christ is there the bread to bless, The fragments multiplying. "O Lord, we come before Thy face; In ev'ry home bestow Thy grace On children, father, mother. Reliever their wants, their burdens ease, Let them together dwell in peace And love to one another." --I Hus og Hjem, hvor Mand og Viv --Magnus B. Landstad, 1861. My opinions and beliefs on this matter are disclaimed by The University of Houston.