Path: utzoo!censor!geac!torsqnt!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!130!10!Linda.Iverson
From: Linda.Iverson@f10.n130.z1.fidonet.org (Linda Iverson)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: More thoughts
Message-ID: <15805@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 20 Nov 90 04:17:49 GMT
Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP
Reply-To: Linda.Iverson@f10.n130.z1.fidonet.org
Distribution: misc
Organization: FidoNet node 1:130/10 - D D Connection, Fort Worth TX
Lines: 72
Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP

Index Number: 11897

[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]

Hi, Karen!
 
I guess your knowledge of the "blind world" is about like mine of the 
"deaf world".  I found this echo by accident and started reading it. 

 I've learned a lot about the deaf and HI, but I think mostly I've 
learned about people.  As Vixen said in a message, we all live in the 
same world, after all.
 
I wouldn't wish any disability on anyone, but if we have one, I think 
it's up to us to make the best of it and to realize there are things 
we just can't do and to know how to ask for help when necessary, but 
at the same time let the person of whom we are asking help we are in 
charge of the situation.  Should you ever have questions about the 
"blind world", don't hesitate to ask me.  However, what I tell you 
might not be what someone else who is blind would say.  We all handle 
our disabilities our way.  I feel I am an expert on my blindness, but 
no one else's.  My way may not work for someone else.  I have a couple 
of questions for you!  Just curious.  I would think in some ways there 
is a lot of similarity between deafness and blindness--each is a sensory 
loss, and I think the general public can't imagine how they could do 
something if they couldn't see or hear.  Like you said, you just develop 
techniques and creativity.  Anyway, have you ever had people you just 
met ask you personal questions--things you'd never ask someone you'd 
never seen before and might never see again?  I've been on a bus or 
train and people will ask me how long I've been "that way"--meaning 
blind, of course.  About four years ago my grandmother passed away. 

 I was living in Minnesota then and I was taking the bus to Florida 
for the funeral.  My son, who was about five then was with me.  We 
were changing buses in Chicago, and while waiting for the bus, I was 
chatting with this lady and all of a sudden she said, "Now, ah, this 
little boy?  How is he connected to you?"  As though the thought I 
might be his mother never crossed her mind.  About two years ago now 
my husband walked out on my son and me and just came in one day and 
said he was filing for divorce.  He started living with a lady who 
had five childrenby three dads.  They had their baby five weeks after 
we signed the divorce papers.  Anyway, my husband is also blind, but 
this gal is sighted.  A "friend" said to me, "Well, it must be easier 
for him now that he's with someone who can see!"  I can't tell you 
how angry and hurt I was.  I've dated both blind and sighted buys and 
met nice and jerky ones among both groups.  I've tried to judge people 
for who they are--not because of, or not because they don't have a 
disability.  Anyway, I've wondered if people take such personal liberties 
with other disabilities.  Also, you mentioned you were the eldest of 
four children.  Were you allowed to be the eldest in the sense of having 
certain responsibilities and priviliges that go with being the firstborn? 

 I was an only child till fourteen, so I guess for all intense and 
purposes I'm an only child, but I've had blind friends who were not 
allowed to baby-sit the other kids, do chores, etc.  So they grew up 
to be 25 going on ten.  I've never understood why parents think a sense 
deprivation affects so many other things.  Sometimes parents say all 
the right things, but you wonder if they really expect much of their 
disabled child.  I was lucky in that my parents, though over-protective 
in some ways, weren't nearly as much so as others I've seen.  Then, 
I guess some of us are strong-willed enough that we won't let our parents 
protect us.  I had a resource teacher in school who was legally blind, 
and she expected everything from us.  I learned how to do my math--I 
mean work the answers out on a manual typewriter, and I'm grateful 
for that!  I know a blind high school kid who does all his homework 
Lindacare!rfect!but I wish the average Joe on the street wouldn't think

[This message arrived truncated]

--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!130!10!Linda.Iverson
Internet: Linda.Iverson@f10.n130.z1.fidonet.org