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From: John.Boyle@f608.n107.z1.fidonet.org (John Boyle)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: the art of external catheters
Message-ID: <16093@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 3 Dec 90 21:33:37 GMT
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 JC> With the disabled it takes a little longer.  If you choose to 
 JC> seek only able bodied partners then it will take even longer.  
 JC> If you only go out twice a week then it takes longer.  If your 
 JC> social life is limited then it will take longer.  To be success
 JC> you must get out and interact.
     
 JC> You refer to some ladies thinking you are to dependent.  Well, 
 JC> there are some women who like that in their men.  There are all 
 JC> kinds of men and women in this world and each of us has our 
 JC> particular set of needs.  The trick is to find that other person
 JC> who needs what you have to offer and is willing to give what you
 JC> need.  In order to find this person you must socialize.
     
Hi Joe!  I am going through a period right now which is very frustrating, and
I'd like to ask you for some suggestions.  I am a quad, and although I can do
a great many things for myself, toileting is a major problem.  I can't handle
it alone.  I am also someone who tends to be nervous in social situations, and
this can lead to the dreaded "stomach ache", for which there is usually only
one relief.

Because of this toileting problem, I stick close to home.  I am also
desperately seeking a relationship.  My shrinks say as you do that in order to
find a special someone, I have to socialize more.  Unfortunately, that same
socialization could cause a great deal of embarrassment if the dreaded
"stomach ache" rears its ugly self.

What does someone in my situation do?  I can't be socially comfortable if I
have to drag a home attendant or relative along to help in the bathroom, yet
without such support, I can't socialize.  What do others in this predicament
do?

Your input will be very much appreciated.  Thank you.

JMB

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