Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!hsdndev!cmcl2!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: oracle@eleazar.dartmouth.edu (Brian T. Coughlin) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: I am Lost Message-ID: Date: 1 Dec 90 05:51:34 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH Lines: 85 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu Re: William B Bradley In article bradley@brahms.udel.edu (William B Bradley) writes: > I recently was involved in a heated debate with a close friend >concerning the relationship between money and the church. > I believe that one is obligated to give to the hungry until one is >hungry himself. One should give to the naked until naked himself. One should >sacrifice of ones self until death. > She believes that since the Bible says we are to tithe, she is safe >giving a set percentage of her money to the church, and when I say that it >satisfies me to give more of myself, she reminds me of the dangers of writing >one's own scripture. > I feel right here, but would like to continue friendly relations with >my friend, talk to me. Hi, William! Your wishes to "empty" your own self for the sake of the world is a highly noble one... and even desirable, in certain respects. When done in a pure conscience, it shows that you love your neighbor even more than yourself (some might say that this is bad, quoting the Golden Rule as "Love thy neighbor AS thyself", but I won't. I believe that the Golden Rule allows leeway for generosity). But there are certain things to consider: YOU have needs, as well. These needs MUST be met if you are to remain a healthy, functioning human being. God gave us immortal souls, but did not give us immortal or indestructible bodies, nor did He give us infinitely resilient minds. Humans need food, clothing, shelter, love, physical AND mental rest, and so on. Please remember: you are MUCH more useful to the people of the world if you are ALIVE rather than dead. You are also more useful to the world if you are HEALTHY (and thus able to perform normal tasks), rather than unhealthy. I assert to you that selflessness is beautiful, but giving of oneself to the point of personal death or ruination is actually *sinful*; your body is the temple of your soul, and is therefore holy... NOT to be unnecessarily defiled. Your mind is a gift from God; it would be ungrateful of that gift to abuse it and torture it unnecessarily. Your friend elects to "tithe" at a set percentage, rather than at an undetermined percentage; I assert to you that she is fully within her moral rights to do so. But then again, so are YOU, if you choose to give MORE than that (given that you don't hurt yourself in the process). There is no universal law telling humans EXACTLY how much to give. Each human must give according to the dictations of his/her conscience. It is no one's place to judge another's generosity. It is wrong of your friend to judge your desire to give greatly of yourself, as she doesn't understand the deep emotional need that [I assume] you have for doing so. It is also wrong for YOU to judge your FRIEND'S generosity; there may well be a strong emotional or physical reason WHY she doesn't give more... a reason that you may not be aware of (and might never be aware of; one's personal relationship with God [which affects generosity] is one's own business... no one has a right to pry into it). I'd urge you to take some time and reconcile yourself with your friend's beliefs, her RIGHT to hold those beliefs, and her right to manage her generosity according to how God calls her to do so (her urge to give may increase or decrease... but please remember that it is not your concern... it's an issue SOLELY between God and her). Once you do, go and TELL her that you understand her beliefs. Once you are in that position of understanding her views, you then have the right to ask that she understand yours (PROVIDED that you not injure yourself physically, mentally, OR spiritually... I'm quite serious about that!). Acceptance and understanding are the mortar that helps to bind friends together; love cannot exist without them. I assume that you love your friend, and that she loves you. Please don't throw that away; accept her as she is, and urge her to accept you as you are. Once that happens, all other "problems" between you will become easier to manage. When you think about generosity in the future, think of this: it is not only EARTHLY wealth that we are supposed to give. If you've reached your limit of earthly gifts, start giving more spiritual ones. Love is a gift. Acceptance is a gift. Forgiveness is a gift. Encouragement is a gift. It is such as THESE that Christ was urging all of us to give, since these gifts can never run out! And, I believe, in this world today... these are the gifts that the world DESPERATELY needs the MOST! I hope this helps! My love to both of you! ;) ---- Take care! Sincerely, Brian Coughlin oracle@eleazar.dartmouth.edu