Path: utzoo!censor!geac!torsqnt!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!sun-barr!olivea!oliveb!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Pandora.Nigh From: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Pandora Nigh) Newsgroups: misc.handicap Subject: Thanksgiving Message-ID: <16321@bunker.UUCP> Date: 6 Dec 90 17:39:14 GMT Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP Reply-To: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org Distribution: misc Organization: FidoNet node 1:157/3 - Nerd's Nook, Rocky River OH Lines: 35 Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP Index Number: 12402 Hi Frank, I wonder if it is dads and sons and mothers and daughters that don't seem to click well. I wonder if part of the problem lies that they see us as extensions of themselves and if we become disabled we can't live up to what they perceive they want to be. My father is very proud of me. He supports alot of things that I do and you can see the glow of pride and warmth when he talks of things like my show and volunteer work. My mother on the other hand seems to think that I just am a burden and serve no great purpose. I don't make big bucks like my sister and one brother, I don't look like a cover girl like my sister, and I get SSA which to her is being like a welfare leach. Of course she feels sorry for Ray that he has to put up with me and it is costing him unnecessary money for him to fix and help me around the house. Of course this is not an overly new view for her. When I was married her standard phrase was "the woman gives 90% and the man 10% " and if you didn't go along with her stats and situation then you were at fault. My ex would get drunk alot and then pound on me. When this first started happening I didn't want to sya exactly what was happening and Irun and lock my self in the den and then call home and ask them to please pick me up. Then I would get the old standard and "you have to work things out between yourselves". Of course being a Catholic family when ever I brouched the subject of divorce all Hell broke loose. I fianly wised up on that situation and did divorce him. I knew at that time no matter how hard it would be for me and the baby to live alone that it would be better than moving in with my parents. So like you for a long time I have been physically removed from them. But you still make those once in a while contacts. I'm luck that the once amonth I talk to her on the phone is of short duration and she doesn't do much accept to tell me to get my hair cut. Pandora -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Pandora.Nigh Internet: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org