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From: dill@acsu.buffalo.edu (peter c dill)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Saddam Hussein's Top Ten Hopes for the New Year
Keywords: topical, original, chuckle
Message-ID: <S1fa.41d5@looking.on.ca>
Date: 5 Jan 91 08:20:15 GMT
Lines: 42
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca



    The two questions that I am asked most often are "does this look infected
    to you?" and "boy, I bet computer science takes up a lot of your time". 
    In partial answer to both, I would like to submit the following,

    Saddam Hussein's Top Ten Hopes for the New Year
    -----------------------------------------------    
    10. That the chef won't continue serve ``date surprise'' every night
        of the week.
    
    9. in between brutally silencing his opponents he'll be able to find
        a little quite time for himself.

    8. be able to use the Video Toaster to make Iraqi TV footage of 
       ``Death to American Satan'' rallies look more like a Vanilla Ice
       video.
    
    7. no one realizes that Tariq Aziz used to play Larry Tate on
       ``Bewitched''.
       
    6. there will finally be a college football playoff system.

    5. that people won't start wondering why they've never seen him 
       and the official government spokesmen together. 

    4. that Iraq will have a piece of Saudi Arabia--- oops that
       should be that Iraq will have *peace with* Saudi Arabia.

    3. the New York Post will stop using his first name as a verb.
    
    2. that Noriega's lawyer has received the retainer he sent.
    
    1. (tie) lose ten pounds/get around to poison gassing the Kurds like
       he promised the wife last year. 

-- 
Peter Dill 
--
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