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From: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Pandora Nigh)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Babies
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Date: 8 Jan 91 19:01:04 GMT
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Index Number: 12766

    Hi Alan, it really can be done. I have a son who is now 13. I had 
not planned on having children, in fact the doctors had originally told 
me that I wouldn't be able to sustain a pregnancy. Suprise, suprise. I 
divorced my ex when my son was a year old. My ex is an alchoholic and 
getting child support has been a joke. He is never employed long enough. 
I managed the baby alone until 4 1/2 years ago when I met Ray. Klinton 
and I didn't have a lot of money but it didn't matter. We lived on $275 
starting to $300 a month and $40 in food stamps. It was hard but not 
impossible. At the time he was an infant I could walk a little with my 
bracing but I couldn't really carry him after he got to be about 1 1/2 
in the baby backpack and he adapated he was a very early walker. It was 
amazing on how much that baby could understand and learned to adjust to 
my disability. I could not bend down and pick him up so he would climb 
up the sofa so I could reach him. As he got older and older I also 
couldn't hold him on my lap, but that didn't matter, he was happy and 
got just as much loving and hugging sitting next to me and cuddling. We 
would do inexpensive things together like take a ride on the bus. He 
enjoyed just going somewhere with me. We had a lot of fun and quaility 
time do things that just didn't take much money. One of my favorite 
photos is of us at the zoo. In the picture he is 8 years old and is 
pushing me in my wheel chair around the zoo. His attitude about 
disabilities is very good, to him it is as normal as not having one. I 
have heard him explain to his friends when asked about me, that it's 
nothing my mom just wears braces and uses a wheelchair. Originally he 
would  refer to them as bracelets when he was very young. My hands have 
a tendency to shake and as a infant he would adjust his head and 
movement to make it to the feeding spoon when I was having a hard time 
getting the spoon to go where I wanted it. Children are amazingly 
adaptable and resiliant. They really can work with you, it's not as if 
you are the only one that has to do it all. It is a partnership, and 
that is what makes a family, not a disability or nondisability, the 
money, or fancy home. It is love and mutual sharing.
                                Pandora

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