Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!usc!samsung!olivea!oliveb!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Pandora.Nigh
From: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Pandora Nigh)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Babies
Message-ID: <16723@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 9 Jan 91 21:59:14 GMT
Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP
Reply-To: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org
Distribution: misc
Organization: FidoNet node 1:157/3 - Nerd's Nook, Rocky River OH
Lines: 35
Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP

Index Number: 12790

       Hi Alan, I know that worry is a big concern, but often the worry 
exaggerates the reality of a problem. You can build it up bigger and 
worse with the more time you put into worring about it than what it 
would really be like. We tend to see things in a more negatively 
predudicial light when we let our fears be the moderator over our 
thoughts. If you take a lot at what happens now when you loose your 
temper the chances are unless your smacking your wife around, you won't 
do the same to the kid. Everyone looses their temper with kids. They 
have some inborn talent for knowing what switch to pull to really get 
you going. It's not that you don't get angry, or lose it, it's that you 
realize what your doing and place some control. If you feel like 
strangling the kid then you seperate yourself from them at the time and 
work out another form of punishment. Send both of you to your rooms. I 
jokingly tell people that I know I'm doing ok as a mom because my kid is 
still alive and I haven't made definite plans to kill him yet this week. 
But there is a bit of underlying reality to it. Kids can do things 
without fear or thought and somehow manage to survive. You on the other 
hand are on the way to the rubber room at the time. It's a real 
emotional split. When you confront the kid you are releived that they 
are all right and at the same time want to kill them so they don't ever 
do that again. But we humans have something other than feeling to run 
our lives on. We have experience, maturity, and brains. If you have been 
able to adjust to your own disability, realize that having a baby is not 
the same as playing with dolls, and care enough to want to share your 
love with a baby, then you have got it made. All the fears and such will 
work out. You forgot to put your plus qualities onto the list of 
considerations of having a child. I think you will find they will more 
than ballance off your fears.
                                Pandora

--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Pandora.Nigh
Internet: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org