Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!swrinde!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!think.com!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!360!1.10!Betty.Draughon From: Betty.Draughon@p10.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org (Betty Draughon) Newsgroups: misc.handicap Subject: overload Message-ID: <17069@bunker.UUCP> Date: 17 Jan 91 19:53:34 GMT Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP Reply-To: Betty.Draughon@p10.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org Distribution: misc Organization: FidoNet node 1:360/1.10 - Augusta Forum, North Augusta SC Lines: 116 Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP Index Number: 13082 Well, beloved friend, I'm not going to quote your message. I feel for you tonight, and last night when I read your message first. My heart goes out to you, and I want to hug you. Hang on, Sweet Pea. Let's look for some alternatives. You've accepted the fact that you are not safe to drive anymore. One of the things you listed was your frequent trips to the drug store. I don't know where you live, but even in large cities there is usually a small drug store around that will deliver. You may have to pay a bit more for your medicines, but it will be worth it to you not to "bother" your husband with bringing them home to you. There are also prescription services by mail. You have to plan in advance, but they are available, and will usually get you your needed meds before you run out. That's just a couple of alternatives that come to mind. I know it's not easy to watch your independence disappear, and accept that you become more dependent. It never is, Angel. Never. If you weren't a fighter, you'd be a vegetable by now. Overload will pass. Maybe not quickly, but it will pass. Don't look on asking others to give you a hand as being useless. You can still take occasional trips to the malls. There are Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts that are always looking for services they can perform. They can help you with your scooter, and they probably will have a kid old enough with them to drive you. Scouting is a service oriented activity. Give them an opportunity. It will be good for both of you. By not being able to drive to work anymore mean that you're now at home all day? You say you need a hair cut. Are you aware that people will come to your house to do your hair? There are beauticians who do that, Angel. Call the Council on Aging and ask who they have on their reference list that will come to your house to cut your hair. They even try to please. As for your shoe and leg brace, I don't think there is another alternative to that, just yet. Your dearly beloved, or some close friend will have to take you there. As for the banking - there are more and more banking facilities available by telephone. Direct deposits and debits, transfer of funds, etc. My oldest says he never goes to the bank anymore. He pays all his bills by phone, or automatic debits. He lives in Chicago. I can't help you with breaking in the brace. I haven't had any experience with that in over 40 years and I'm sure they've improved things since then. Maybe someone else here has some help along those lines. You made reference to "beggars not being choosers!" Now cut that out! You are not a beggar. Not by a long shot. You are inconvenienced, you had poor transportation facilities available to you by the public service people, but, you are NOT a beggar. You've helped other people before you got sick yourself, right? What types of organizations did that? Call them. Call in some favors, Angel. Locally, I'd call in church groups. There ARE people out there who will help, who are compassionate, who will not look down at you and "pity" you. If necessary, offer to PAY someone to help you. Of course, you feel that your world is caving in on you. A ton of feathers is still a ton. Add enough of them, and they'll break your back, if you can't find a way to get rid of some of the load. Venting here is a big help. It may take a while, but you'll find a way to make up to your husband the extra things he has to do for you. For one thing, you're there. You give him a reason to come home. Who would pet your cats all day, if you weren't there? Life would not be easier for them if you were gone, Angel. Not by a long shot. Your husband's love for you is invested. He loves you - anyway. He didn't stop loving you when you could no longer totally provide for yourself and for him. You mentioned flossing your teeth. I think you can still do that effectively. There is an appliance available at the drug store where the floss is on a handle, and it doesn't take two hands to floss. If you can still type, you can still floss. AB> how does anybody deal with the dependency? how do you keep a sense of AB> self worth? i can see my accomplishments. i can see how hard i am AB> trying. i can give myself credit for my accomplishments. but i can't AB> seem to handle how dependent i've become. You can keep your sense of self-worth by knowing that you are YOU. You are valuable to everybody who loves you, and that includes us. We all have limitations, Angel. Every one of us. Those things which we can do, we do to the best of our ability. With time, we learn to accept the things we cannot do. Let's work to try to relieve some of your perceived dependency. I would bet that together (all of us) that we can make your life a bit easier. You are not alone. AB> who ever would have guessed my life would revolve around going AB> to the bathroom? I hope the scabs coming off are not too painful, I hope you don't get an infection, I hope the procedure makes things better. As for the quoted question, you'd be surprised at how many people have their lives revolve around going to the bathroom. It's simple only when everything is working right. But, we always take things for granted when they're working right. We abuse healthy bodies, we should never take them for granted. But, we do. Hang on, Angel. I'm working on it. Betty -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!360!1.10!Betty.Draughon Internet: Betty.Draughon@p10.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org