Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!samsung!crackers!m2c!wpi.WPI.EDU!yaya.wpi.edu!shari
From: kasim@ksuvax1.cis.ksu.edu (Abdul KASIM)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.islam
Subject: Interesting Article....
Message-ID: <1991Jan13.045313.7803@wpi.WPI.EDU>
Date: 13 Jan 91 04:53:13 GMT
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Organization: Kansas State University, Dept. of Computing and Information Sciences
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As Salaam ALiekum!

I recently got the following article (taken from a magazine)
from a friend in England, and I thought I'd like to share it with
you.  I believe it is indeed thought provoking and would be of
special interest to Muslims in the West. 
Hopefully, this article would initiate some discussion , comments,
criticism etc, in this newsgroup  (something that is decidedly lacking,
unfortunately..).

Regards,

--
Abdul Kasim

          >>>Q: What are Muslim Women Like ?        >>>
	 <<<A: I don't know, I've  never met one ! <<<

                  (Insight Magazine, Glasgow.)

  About eight months ago I went home to visit my parents to
  announce my desire to get married. Being an 'English' Muslim of two
  years standing, they knew of my Islamic Faith and had accepted my
  decision about religion quite well.

  ME: I've decided to get married.

  PARENTS: That's wonderful ! What's her name ?

  ME: (After hesitation) Well, er, I haven't got anybody specifically in
  mind yet.

  Silence.

  ME: I'll probably have an arranged marriage.

  Slight shock visible on their faces at this prospect.

  ME: It's a bit like Dateline, people who are of similar background,
  education, and view of life can be introduced together. If they feel
  that they like each other they decide to get married.

  Short pause.

  PARENTS: Where is love in all this?

  ME: You see in the western way of life, people fall in love and then
  decide to get married. In Islam, it's the other way around. People
  decide to get married and then fall in love.

  Slightly_longer_pause.

  PARENTS: OK, you've been a Muslim for a couple of years now, what are
  Muslim women like ?

  ME: Well to be honest, I've never actually met one, although I've heard
  one or two on television.

  Stunned_silence_followed_by_an_even_longer_pause.

  PARENTS: Why on earth is that ?

  This was an awkward question as I really didn't know the answer.  But in
  order not to appear hesitant I explained :

  ME: The principle is that Islam does not advocate free mixing or
  communication between sexes so that nothing untoward ever happens.

  They thought carefully about this one for a few moments and then my
  mother added :

  PARENTS: Well we have always talked to members of the opposite sex quite
  freely and nothing has ever happened. You Muslims must be sex-mad ...
  --

  I remember this conversation very well as it touches on one of
  the controversial areas in Islam in the UK, the role of Muslim women in
  society. Having spoken to many Muslims (men of course) about this
  subject, I have received as many different opinions as I have asked
  questions. The common denominator only appearing to be the ethnic
  culture from which the interviewees come from.

  When a person reverts to Islam, the very first thing that he/she
  usually does is to cut most of their links with their non-Muslim friends
  and society. They then immerse themselves in the Islamic community to
  try and build their new-found Islamic character. This is essentially a
  role playing exercise whereby new Muslims observe their Muslim friends
  (of the same sex) in their day-to-day lives and how they react to life's
  problems and situations. By watching and learning from their behaviour,
  the new Muslim learns how to behave as a 'proper' Muslim.

  Note that this explains why Da'wah begins and ends with your own
  personal example and why new Muslims must be given extra attention
  during their first few months in Islam.

  Having the benefit of a university education (al-Hamdu lillah), I
  looked forward in my early years to many long and detailed discussions
  with Muslim women about Islam and Da'wah in the UK. I naively thought
  that the only difference between talking to Muslim women and non-Muslim
  women would be that one group would be wearing hijab. Not to be.

  Although the majority of Muslim men have no qualms about talking to
  non-Muslim women in this society, I very quickly learned that despite

  i)    everybody wearing their appropriate hijab,
  ii)   the meeting was to be equally mixed,
  iii)  The discussion content of the meeting was to be Islamic,
  iv)   The niyat (intention) was sincere,

  -- that any idea of a meeting was barred by Muslim brothers !

  Indeed after two years I have learned to be a hypocrite, to feel
  'normal' in talking to non-Muslim women (whilst observing the above
  rules where applicable) and yet have a deep down feeling of doing
  something wrong when approaching a hijab'd figure, let along talking to
  one. It's a crazy situation.

  This hypocrisy is wide-spread throughout the Muslim community and
  in fact it gets worse. There are some brothers and (so I'm told) sisters
  who wish to totally avoid the opposite sex, fair enough and I have the
  highest respect for them, but unfortunately there are many brothers who
  say 'I agree with the concept of the meeting of brothers and sisters
  meeting for the sake of Islam', but inside their heart add 'but as long
  as MY wife doesn't get involved.'

  'What is the relevance of all this rhetoric ?' you may ask. Well
  during my studies, I have ended up meeting and discussing Islam with a
  number of non-Muslims (usually Christians). However, I have found that
  trying to give Da'wah to non-Muslim women can be very awkward as although
  they were sometimes very keen to learn about women in Islam, after a
  certain point all I could do was to give them a few leaflets and tell
  them to go away and have a read. There were no Muslim sisters to
  introduce them to. Of course there are Islamic societies and Mosques
  full of good practising sisters, but how can I send someone in cold ?

  To explain what I mean by cold, I will relate an incident that
  happened to me when I tried to introduce a rather shy English lad I had
  met to some Muslims. I had known Mark for a few months and had many
  discussions with him about Islam. Eventually I decided that the time was
  right to bring him into contact with some other Muslims. There was an
  Islamic lecture being held at the local university and so I thought that
  this would be a good opportunity. Everything was fine until we walked
  into the lecture theatre and then I noticed a dramatic change in Mark,
  he stopped talking, his walking faltered and he froze. The awful truth
  had hit him hard. Apart from myself, his was the only 'white' face
  there.

  Still reeling in culture shock, he started edging his way down
  the gangway. Suddenly, from the corner, a small figure homed in on us,
  with flowing white beard, shalwar kamise and muttering Punjabi under his
  breath. He grabbed Mark's hand and dolloped a huge green oily blob of
  perfume on the back of it, which exuded the distinctive smell of
  Eau-de-Lahore.

  At this point I could see alarm bells ringing in Mark's head as
  he nervously surveyed the green and white exit signs. To save the
  situation, I gently grabbed his shoulders from behind and manoeuvred him
  to a vacant seat.

  The lecture was then preceded by a rousing speech by a
  Palestinian brother who outlined the solution to the Palestinian problem
  with specific and gruesome details as to what should be done to the
  Jewish occupation forces. Mark started to look even more uncomfortable.
  This was rounded off by takbir : 'Allahu Akbar, Allah Akbar' everybody
  resounded. This was clearly understood by Mark to mean 'Death to
  non-Muslims'.

  The lecture came and went and so did Mark, never to be seen
  again. The lesson I learned from this episode is : Never in any
  circumstances send a non-Muslim into a group/meeting of Muslims, unless
  you know who they are and the sort of things they are likely to say.

  In summary, if Islam is to grow at its maximum rate in the UK, we
  brothers and sisters must all work *together* for the sake of Allah
  (SWT). Islam is always about Balance, having neither one extreme (total
  amoral mixing and behaviour) nor the other extreme (total seclusion).
  Come on brothers and sisters, lets find the right balance point.

  [Cartoon depicting bashful bloke sheepishly questioning a street-lamp :
      'Umm, err, excuse me - Are you a Muslim Woman ?'                   ]

-- 
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*   Abdul Kasim						               *
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