Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Pandora.Nigh
From: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Pandora Nigh)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Adapting
Message-ID: <17331@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 31 Jan 91 21:44:15 GMT
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Index Number: 13317

    Hi Betty, sounds like you've got a real good hand on things and are 
off to a very good stt. I know that when you are worried about someone 
else you tend to not see how good your doing and always feel that maybe 
I'm not doing enough. You have made some great plans and steps to help 
Adam. One of the things that I'm glad that you can recognize is the 
difference between a problem caused by his disability and the stuff that 
kids just do. This helps, a child and even some adults will use any 
excuse not to do stuff that they don't want to or is a little bit hard. 
As a parent it is hard to keep "nagging the kid" to get on the ball and 
do it. I've seen more disabled adults and teens that were more disabled 
from their parents letting them pull the disability excuse to the 
extreme when growing older analso the overprotective parent that has 
decided that a child with a disability is fragile and incompetent to do 
anything because of the disability. You have beaten that trap and that 
is the most important one. Keep giving him the chance to do things, lots 
of love, work with the school system as you have done, don't act 
embarrassed when people ask questions or stare at him, these things will 
reinforce a sense of self esteem in him that will be his major tool for 
adapting and coping with life.  Best wishes and keep up the good work.
                                Pandora

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