Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Pandora.Nigh
From: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Pandora Nigh)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Overload
Message-ID: <17343@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 31 Jan 91 22:11:27 GMT
Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP
Reply-To: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org
Distribution: misc
Organization: FidoNet node 1:157/3 - Nerd's Nook, Rocky River OH
Lines: 37
Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP

Index Number: 13329

   Hi Adrienne, the other day Ray and I started talking about how much 
more recently he has had to take care of and how much more he has to 
handle emotionaly. When you voiced your concerns over the burden you 
felt that you were placing on your husband, family and friends it 
started me thinking. When Ray and I first met and started dating I was 
very up front with him about my condition and the fact that I will keep 
deteriorating as time went on and tried to explain some what in detail 
what this meant. He said that he could deal with this. I realise that 
what people think sometimes is different then what they can do when the 
situation arises. Since recently I have had a major drop in my condition 
and he has been responding so well, this has really allayed some of the 
fears I held in the back of my mind for awhile, I wanted to know how he 
felt about the added work and stress for him and what made him able to 
cope. His answer was very simple, he felt that as long as I was not 
giving up and would continue to do what ever I could and was capable of 
he would stick it out also. He said that the one thing he couldn't and 
wouldn't tolerate was that if I just quit and did nothing and didn't 
even try to do anything. I brought up the point of what happens when I'm 
or if I'm not able to do anything other than move around in my chair. If 
he had to handle all the cooking, cleaning, feeding me, totaly dressing 
me (he has to help me with some things right now). He said that he loved 
me, that if I were to keep my mind active and put in even verbal 
instruction on how-tos and support that that would be fine. Just as long 
as I don't become a self induced vegatable. I think that most people and 
love ones can adjust and learn to go on as long as we are willing to put 
some effort forth. I know that while you are in this period of 
readjustment and new adaption it will take awhile for you and your 
family to work out and settle into what is reasonable expectations for 
you and what will be soon. But I really think as long as you keep that 
lets go for it attitude they will hang in there with you.
                                          Pandora

--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Pandora.Nigh
Internet: Pandora.Nigh@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org