Path: utzoo!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!bcm!dimacs.rutgers.edu!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: mib@churchy.ai.mit.edu (Michael I Bushnell) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Cutting Away at Tolerance Message-ID: Date: 13 Mar 91 08:25:41 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: Free Software Foundation, Cambridge, MA Lines: 61 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu In article djdaneh@pacbell.com (Dan'l DanehyOakes) writes: As a Christian, I am compelled to forgive you. However, there's nothing to stop me from telling you what a schmuck you're being. I realize that the above quote is rather removed from its original context, and I don't intend to attack Mr DanehyOakes, but I think its a good jumping off point for something I've been thinking about recently: What is loving enemies all about? What is forgiveness all about? When someone says "I am compelled to forgive", what does that mean? From my normal context, to love someone is to wish them the best. It is to seek to understand and be with them. Loving an abstracted person halfway across the globe is simply not possible. Well-wishing is certainly possible. The parable of the "Good Samaritan" makes it clear that our neighbor is the person who needs us now. But the Pharisee who did nothing to help but rush past didn't exhibit any love. It was the outcast that was loving. And that love consisted in taking care of the hurt person. Just simple care. Is it possible to love someone while accusing them of willful dishonesty? I've had mail from people recently telling me that I'm lying deliberately but they love me anyway. Is that really meaningful? Is it really love? This odd phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin" is quite non-biblical. It also seems at odds with John 8:1-16. Seems to me that Jesus loves the sinner and all but disregards the sin. How better to kill sin than to spend time on forgiveness instead! I'm inclined to suspect that for many of us "loving enemies" and "forgiveness" have become duties. And, as soon as they become irksome duties, to be done regretfully, they cease to be love or forgiveness, but instead empty words, devoid of meaning, and indicative of nothing more than ritualistic obedience to a bothersome law. But just that kind of thing is what Jesus died to stop. Surely love of enemies means something different than that! I've discovered that when I pray for the ability to love my enemies, to forgive those who have harmed me, I begin to desire it in reality as well as in words. But the discipline of not pretending to love when I really don't has helped tremendously. I'd rather pray to be able to love, admitting my inability to love, than use the word without any real love behind it. -mib [I don't see why you think it is impossible to love (in your sense of wishing well) a person who lies deliberately. Lying is one of the easiest ways of disrupting personal relationships, and I suspect a number of the "enemies" we are called on to love are in fact guilty of this. It seems to me that the problem is not that what they claim to be doing is impossible, but that it is inappropriate in the given situation. I.e. forgiving you for deliberately lying is bound to be offensive if you aren't actually lying. This of course leaves you feeling that they are accusing you falsely, thus providing you your own opportunity to be offensive by forgiving them. Somehow a group of Christians ought to be able to find a way out of this. Perhaps we could find a way of loving people without being quite so sure we know what offenses we are forgiving them for... --clh]