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From: dmerrill@zombie.dtc.hp.com (David Merrill)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: does healthy, mutual erotica exist?
Message-ID: <7060002@hpdtczb.HP.COM>
Date: 21 Mar 91 18:16:40 GMT
References: <2995@titan.tsd.arlut.utexas.edu>
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In soc.feminism, ford@titan.tsd.arlut.utexas.edu (Carolyn Ford) writes:

>I need some advice/suggestions for the following delimma:

>My partner and I are having an ongoing debate on the harmfulness or
>harmlesness of "light" pornography, specifically "Playboy."  My
>normally open-minded and understanding partner insists that it is
>completely innocuous, and he sees nothing wrong with looking at
>these women because they're beautiful, and there is nothing wrong 
>with the human body.  My argument is that these magazines portray
>women as the playthings of men, and the idea that women in general are primarily
>around for the pleasure of men.  

Well, women ARE the playthings of men, just as men are the playthings of women.
Likewise, men are around for the pleasure of women just as much as women are
around for the pleasure of men.  However, it is important that we realize that
that's not ALL we are to each other.

BTW, I don't consider "Playboy" to be pornography at all.  In fact, I barely
call it erotica.  I also consider it very rude when someone calls me a liar
when I tell them that I spend more time reading the articles in "Playboy" than
I do looking at the girlies.

>Now I know there was a raging debate in
>this newsgroup last year on the pros/cons of pornography.  It is
>not my intent to start that up again.  I have decided that, yes,
>I believe the human body is beautiful, and that there is nothing
>wrong with human sexuality, so what I am looking for are books or
>magazines that celebrate the beauty of mutual sexuality.  I would
>be willing to trade him "erotica" involving both sexes which
>promotes positive feelings about both sexes, in exchange for him
>giving up his subscription to Playboy.  Does anybody know if
>such things exist?

Maybe this isn't about erotica for him at all.  Maybe this is more about
you telling him which magazines to read.

Women.  All they think about is sex.


>Thanks for any help.  Yes, I am reading Andrea Dworkin's _Pornography_
>at the moment, but I think it's not going to help me out much in 
>my argument because Playboy doesn't show bondage, abuse, etc.  My
>partner would be very opposed to those things, but still sees Playboy
>as harmless.

I agree with him.

>carolyn


Dave