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From: Vixen@f11.n203.z1.fidonet.org (Vixen)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: PICTURE
Message-ID: <18619@bunker.isc-br.com>
Date: 11 Apr 91 04:44:15 GMT
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[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]

Hi Ann,

You know, music is that "particular" area of my life where I feel
most devasatated by my hearing loss. So much of my very being has
been given to that love. For me, the thought of not being able to
put music to my words, whether a joyous melody or a plaintive cry,
is something that I have always felt could destroy me!

Way back when I was going to the MaryJane Reese Speech and Hearing
clinic just showing a "significant" loss in my left ear, I thought,
"Well, this is not something to worry about and it is such a slow
loss, that it will have little impact on my life!" I felt that my
music was "safe!"

Little did I suspect, or would have even believed for a moment,
that in less than two years, I would be wearing BTEs and my Telex
FM and using amplified phones and all of that! I mean it all seems
so rediculously unlikely. I never even for a moment considered the
possibility of deafness. Until, things did get worse and then I
found out that my grandfather was deaf and all of that.

But so far, I have learned a lot! I have learned that if I can't
hear with my ears, I can often hear using all of my gizmos! I have
learned that I can still play an instrument and sing even if I
cannot hear myself singing! I have learned that a little clever
thought or the "right toy" might allow me to do what I otherwise
might not!

Best of all, I have learned that deafness does'nt always mean total
silence and "I am still playing, writing and singing!"

I don't know if you and others can understand how helpful it is for
me to hear about deaf persons playing an instrument and how it
helps keep me all that much more sane as I deal with all of this!

According to my prognosis, I am not yet as deaf as I may likely
become and I would be dishonest if I said that I am not fearful,
but I do have hope now that I will find a way! I know this is true
since I certainly could have given up the struggle to retain what I
still have long ago, and I am always on the prowl to find new ways
to deal with new situations!

My hope is this, when I get to the point where all of my gizmos are
no more help and I am beyond wiring, that I will still have the
same drive I have now and can "find a way around things and a place
in music!" For always, there will be my heart!

Thank you for your message!

Keepin' the faith!

.                          Vixen

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