Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!rpi!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!sdd.hp.com!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!looking!looking!funny-request Message-id: Date: Tue, 16 Apr 91 5:30:3 EDT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: J.FILIPPONE1@genie.com (Peggy ) Subject: Plain English homeowner's policy. Summary: Lawyer jokes not apropriate for other categories. Approved: funny@looking.on.ca Keywords: swearing, chuckle, rot13 Jryy, guvf vfa'g ernyyl fvpx be qvfthfgvat; ohg vg qbrf unir fbzrguvat gb qb jvgu ynjlref. Naq, vs nal bs lbh unir lbhe ubzrbjare cbyvpl unaql, lbh jvyy or fhecevfrq ng ubj ba cbvag vg vf! Vg'f dhvgr gehr va znal erfcrpgf: ------------------------------------ ARJ FVZCYVSVRQ, CYNVA RATYVFU UBZRBJAREF CBYVPL-FCRPVNY SBEZ Gur ______________Vafhenapr Pbzcnal unf vffhrq guvf cbyvpl gb ______ _________________sbe n crevbq bs _____ lrne(f) raqvat cebzcgyl ng zvqavtug, fgnaqneq gvzr ba ______________. Cebcregl Ybpngvba: _______ ________________________________. Nzbhag bs Vafhenapr lbh obhtug: $_________ Oynaxrg, ba lbhe ubhfr, nyy gur npphzhyngrq sheavgher naq fuvg vafvqr lbhe ubhfr, lbhe tnentr (gur bar jurer lbh cnex lbhe pne, abg Ny'f Obql Fubc) naq nal bgure fznyy ohvyqvat ba gur ybg, naq jung vg pbfgf gb yvir jura lbhe ubhfr vf ohearq qbja be fbzrguvat yvxr gung unccraf, sbe fb ybat nf jr fnl vg'f bxnl. Jr nyfb jvyy qrsraq lbh va pbheg vs fbzr fbahinovgpu znxrf n pynvz ntnvafg lbh, be cnl uvf qnzntrf, naq jr'yy cnl gur zrqvpny ovyyf bs fbzr crbcyr jub trg uheg nppvqragnyyl ng lbhe cynpr, be fbzr bgure cynprf. (Jr pbhyq fcryy vg bhg va qrgnvy, ohg lbh jbhyqa'g haqrefgnaq bar shpxvat jbeq bs vg naljnl--fuvg--jr unq gb uver gra Wrj ynjlref whfg gb svther GUVF bhg nsgre jr jebgr vg). PBAQVGVBAF: 1. Vs nalguvat unccraf naq vg ybbxf yvxr vg'f tbvat gb pbfg lbh zbarl, pnyy hf evtug njnl naq jr'yy gryy lbh vs jr'er ncg gb cnl sbe vg. 2. Bhe ntrag unf nyernql gbyq lbh gung guvf vf gur arj "NYY EVFX" cbyvpl. Ur jnf pbeerpg nf sne nf ur jrag, ohg ur qbrfa'g rira xabj jung gur shpx ur'f fryyvat. Fb, vs lbh unir nal dhrfgvbaf, pnyy be jevgr gb hf, abg fbzr wnpxbss vafhenapr fnyrfzna. 3. Qba'g yvr gb hf nobhg jung unccrarq be ubj zhpu fbzrguvat pbfg be ubj tbqnjshy arj vg vf be ubj vg arire yrnxrq orsber. Vs lbh gel gb fuvg hf, jr'yy abg bayl pnapry guvf shpxre fb snfg vg'yy znxr lbhe urnq fjvz; jr'yy cnff gur jbeq nebhaq naq lbh jba'g rire or noyr gb trg na vafhenapr cbyvpl ntnva, fubeg bs Ubat Xbat Zhghny. Gurer'f fb zhpu shpxvat erthyngvba, naq na Vafhenapr Pbzzvffvbare jub guvaxf ur'f Wrfhf Puevfg, gung jr PNA'G YVR gb LBH--Vg'q or bhe nff. Fb, qba'g tvir hf nal fbat naq qnapr be jr'yy ynaq ba lbhe nff uneq. 4. Ercynprzrag Pbfg: Shpxvat sbetrg vg! Lbh qba'g arrq vg. Jr'yy cnl jung vf snve, jvgu be jvgubhg nal tbqqnz Ercynprzrag Pbfg Pbirentr. Naq, jr qba'g tvir n fuvg jung lbhe tbqqnz arvtuobe'f cbyvpl unf ba vg. 5. Gur Nzbhag bs Vafhenapr Lbh Obhtug, yvfgrq nobir, vf gur nofbyhgr zbfg jr jvyy cnl ab znggre jung lbhe ubhfr naq bgure fuvg vf jbegu be ubjrire znal crbcyr fhr lbhe nff sbe nal bar nppvqrag. Fb, lbh'q orggre or tbqqnz fher lbh'ir obhtug rabhtu gb pbire gur jbefg shpxvat qvfnfgre lbh pna vzntvar. Qba'g qrcraq ba lbhe ntrag sbe guvf!!! Vs ur unq nal vzntvangvba, ur'q svaq na UBARFG bpphcngvba (yvxr fhpxvat bss fnvybef). 6. Qba'g obgure hf jvgu n ybg bs dhrfgvbaf nobhg jung vf naq vfa'g pbirerq ol guvf vafhenapr. Jr'yy gryy lbh jura lbh arrq gb xabj. Vs jr gbyq lbh abj, lbh'q sbetrg vg va na ubhe--vs lbh rire haqrefgbbq vg va gur svefg cynpr. 7. LBHE QHGVRF: (1) Cnl gur shpxvat cerzvhz naq (2) Pnyy hf evtug njnl jura lbh guvax fbzrguvat'f unccrarq (qba'g gel gb nanylmr vg, whfg pnyy va); gung'f nyy lbh tbggn qb. Qba'g gel gb trg phgr--frr vgrz (3) nobir va pnfr lbh sbetbg nyernql (juvpu qbrfa'g fhecevfr hf). 8. Vs jr guvax bs nal nqqvgvbany pbaqvgvbaf, jr'yy yrg lbh xabj. Ol gur jnl, vs jung unccraf vaibyirf n iruvpyr, nvecynar be obng be unf fbzrguvat gb qb jvgu lbhe wbo--sbetrg vg! Qba'g pnyy hf; jr pbhyqa'g pner yrff! Ol: ______________________________ Qngrq ___________________ ---------------------------------------------------- V bhtugn xabj--V'z na nqwhfgre! (Obb-uvff!) Ohg, V pna'g pynvz nhgubefuvc sbe guvf terng bar! Crttl -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. If you don't know how to decode this, ask a fellow reader at or near your site. DON'T ASK ME. You take full responsibilty for decrypting the joke, and you give up all right to complain about its offensiveness if you do. If you MUST complain, look or ask for the RHF offensive jokes policy sheet.