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From: Susan.Goldfield@f715.n273.z1.fidonet.org (Susan Goldfield)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: Questions and Answers
Message-ID: <19030@bunker.isc-br.com>
Date: 24 Apr 91 22:47:27 GMT
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[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]

Nancy, I totally sympathize with your situation. On one hand, you
want to be friendly to those curious people with all of their
sometimes sensible,but often very silly questions. On the other
hand, there are days when it is very difficult to have patience. I
am not blind, but my husband is. While you get questions about your
guide dog, I get questions about my husband....when at a
restuarant, "what would he like for dinner?" When we are waiting
for a bus,"how does he get around?" and I could continue listing
all day long. Oh, one more of my favorites, people say to me,"you
are such a good person for taking care of him" that just boils my
blood! people never assume david is my husband-they assume he is my
son,brother,a friend,ect, They can't seem to envision a handicapped
person with a sexuality.(that's an entirely different topic)

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on such a tangent. The point is-
David and I have come up with a "formula" to handle the above
mentioned occasions. Maybe others will find it helpful, maybe not.
When someone asks me "what does he want",ect. I handle it one of
two ways. I either say, "why don't you ask him" which causes so
much embarresment that I only save that one for the utterly fresh
from the darkages comments. the way I usually handle it is by
simply not answering and then after a moment they'll catch on and
ask David what ever it was.

As far as your dog is concerened, it's OK to say no. It's OK to
stick to your guns and finish a sentence before replying to their
questions. It's OK to be a little cranky sometimes. Don't sweat it-
I've walked away from situations feeling guilty for the way I've
responded, but remember your only human.

By the way, my husband wanted me to say hi to you. He's David
Goldfield....do you know him or are you someone different. Sorry
for the length of this message, but as a spouse of a blind person,
I rarely get the opportunity to vent a little steam. Thanks Nancy,
..............Sue

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