Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!sdd.hp.com!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!looking!funny-request From: decot@hpcupt1.cup.hp.com (One) Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Re: Customer Oriented Marketing Keywords: original, chuckle Message-ID: Date: 24 Apr 91 10:30:04 GMT Lines: 99 Approved: funny@looking.on.ca {ed a nice parody of a rather silly employment quiz I posted some time ago.} > . Customer-Oriented Marketing is looking at our job through > the customer's (eyes/file). wallet > . A good opening to a customer who voices a complaint is, > "I'm (sorry/upset) you are having a problem." certain that psychologically > . Remember, arguing with the customer can only make a bad > situation (worse/better). more entertaining > . Make positive contact with your customers by being friendly, > (bashful/enthusiastic), open and interested. flirtatious > . Using a customer's name and saying "thank you" are examples > of (pushy/friendly) service. patronizing > . While working with your present customer, (acknowledge/ > ignore) a waiting customer. become interested in and leave the premises with > . Customers feel you are happy to have their business when > you smile and say (nothing/thank you). "The gas is free today." > . Friendly service is giving the customer your full attention > and making (eye/hand) contact. felonious intimate > . One way to show customers full attention is to call them by > (phone/name) whenever possible. obnoxious childhood nicknames > . Keep the station (cluttered/neat) and clean so customers do > not take their business elsewhere. empty > . Use the intercom for customer assistance and (safety/ > entertainment). inaudibility > A good opening to a complaining customer could be to tell them you are: > a) excited > b) pleased > c) happy > d) sorry extremely busy and tired of their whining > Customers waiting for island service should be: > a) patient > b) ignored > c) acknowledged > d) important advised on airfare deals to Tahiti > What kind of service should customers get? > a) quick > b) friendly > c) professional > d) all of the above incomprehensible, greasy, and fear-inducing > One way to give customers personal attention is to: > a) only accept credit cards > b) ignore them > c) call them by name > d) talk to two customers at once encourage them to join you in the booth -- Dave Decot decot@hpda.hp.com -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line. So many people use "joke" or "submission" like I was expecting something else?