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From: lwalton@polar.bowdoin.EDU (Lisa Walton)
Subject: Dealing with harassment
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Date: 2 May 91 04:15:21 GMT

I have to disagree with Joan Peckham's advice to her undergraduate
student.  Humiliating or angering one's boss is always risky,
especially if you are young, new, and not well established in the
company's hierarchy.

I am a petite woman who always looks younger than I really am (I'm 27
and am frequently asked when I plan to graduate from college).  I have
faced this problem many times in both a professional/business and
academic environment.

I discovered (the hard way) that any show of emotion (embarrasement,
anger, amusement, or even a good come-back) just encourages some men
to keep it up.  My best defense was to keep my cool and be very polite
and professional all the time (hard to do when someone touches you or
pulls your hair).  If you don't react, it just isn't "fun" anymore.

The other thing to be careful of is dressing and behaving properly in
the office.  Many young women (myself included) made the mistake of
joking around with new co-workers like they were friends.  Sometimes
this works, other times it gives people the wrong impression.  Wearing
clothes that emphasize your youth can be another problem.  You need to
establish yourself as a serious professional, and that is
unfortunately often more difficult for women than men.

Sometimes there isn't anything short of creating a major fuss that
will stop the harassment.  At that point a woman just has to decide
how important her job really is to her.  It is not usually an easy
choice.

I have always managed to find a diplomatic solution, and I think in
most cases there is one.  I wish Joan's student the best of luck.
Hang in there!  This problem will only really be solved when more
women have more positions of authority and can "change the
establishment" from the inside.

-Lisa Walton