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From: David.Andrews@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.org (David Andrews)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Getting Assistance
Message-ID: <19161@bunker.isc-br.com>
Date: 4 May 91 04:12:26 GMT
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[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]

WS>      People usually tell us when we travel, that we are so
 WS>  nice.  We are not like some those other blind people we come
 WS>  in contact with.  I guess if you want to be thought of in that
 WS>  manner, just continue on, and fight your way through life.
 WS>  Frankly, I would rather get along with people, and usually get
 WS>  what I want to get.  AS some one else said on here, that there
 WS>  are more things with higher priorities, than those trivial
 WS>  matters.  Those higher priorities like unimployment, should
 WS>  take more of our energy.  And, you know something life is a
 WS>  lot brighter.

Walter,  There is of course the proper time to fight something, and
the proper time to go along.  Each of us must make that judgment as
we go through our daily life.  Each of us is going to do it
differently, as we see from the different messages here.  You
basically say that a blind person fighting against unwanted help is
a trivial matter.  I don't agree.  The help that someone offers
you, and feels that you need, is directly related to the
opportunities he/she, and society is going to offer you.  If
someone feels that blind persons can't safely travel alone, or use
an escalator for example, and if their building has an escalator,
then they are going to feel that blind people can't work in their
building.

We will ultimately get people jobs by changing their attitudes
about blindness, not by passing laws that say you must hire us.

Obviously, we can't snap at everyone that offers us help.  There
are better and worse ways to handle these situations.  One of the
things that this Echo can do is allow us to exchange ideas about
how to do so.  This is also something that groups, such as the NFB
and ACB can also do.

You said that people tell you and your wife that you are nicer then
other blind people they have met.  This is because you are matching
their expectations for passive, accept any help that is offered,
blind persons.  People basically have good motives and want to feel
good when they offer assistance.  They sometimes get offended when
it is turned down, even when it is turned down nicely.  We are
saying I don't need your help, and that doesn't match their image
of blind people as helpless.  This makes them uncomfortable.

You must lead your life in the way in which your are uncomfortable,
accepting help, or not, as you see fit.  I am not trying to be
critical of you for that.  Likewise, you should accept that there
are those of us who are not going to accept all offered help,
simply because it is offered.

... David Andrews

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