Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!rpi!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!uakari.primate.wisc.edu!sdd.hp.com!think.com!mintaka!bloom-beacon!dont-send-mail-to-path-lines From: jondr@sco.COM ("Jonathan S. Drukman") Newsgroups: rec.music.gaffa Subject: Kate Lyrics Summary: a long and rambling diatribe on nothing in particular Keywords: do not read this article, it's far too silly Message-ID: <16976@scorn.sco.COM> Date: 16 May 91 19:01:54 GMT References: <91May11.221536ndt.108811@garfield.cs.mun.ca> Sender: Love-Hounds-request@EDDIE.MIT.EDU Reply-To: "Jonathan S. Drukman" Organization: Mangled Bloody Carcass Of Sound Productions Lines: 64 Approved: love-hounds@eddie.mit.edu No one yet knows why sauron@garfield.cs.mun.ca (Patrick Ryan) said: >Sorry if this is a) a repeat of already-brought-up information, or >b)inappropriate, but has anybody got a copy of the lyrics of "Deeper >Understanding" on the Sensual World CD? They're in the CD booklet, unless you've got some new edition which doesn't include the lyrics sheet... >And, since this is the first time I realized that this group existed, >can anybody enlighten me as to WHAT THE HELL "GAFFA" IS? And how does >one get suspended in it? :v) Oh dear lord, grant me the strength... Cast your minds back with me, fellow Love-Hounders, to when I was living in Boston... On one occasion, I was moved to ask |>ear old |>oug "why the hell did you name the newsgroup rec.music.gaffa, all it ever does is provoke endless discussions of what the hell `gaffa' really is." He got into his infuriated-at-the-injustice-of-it-all mode, as he is wont to do when someone poses a particularly irksome question and then revealed to me that it wasn't his choice - he originally wanted rec.music.love-hounds but was told that it was "too long." Bah! They've got "sci.physics.edward-teller.boom.boom.boom" and they've got the gall to complain about r.m.love-hounds! I suspect they just thought having the name "love-hounds" on the rec hierarchy would get some of the stuffed shirts at Big Corporations up in arms. "Love-Hounds? Why couldn't they just stick to alt.sex.bestiality?" So, to answer the original question: gaffa is a form of chocolate bar that Kate is particularly fond of and one can easily be suspended in it if one melts enough of them in a large galvanized steel tub. I find it a particularly refreshing way to relax after a long day slaving in front of a hot CRT. This is all revealed on Kate's award-winning album "Hounds Of Chocolate." Actually, I lied. It's a kind of gaffer's tape which is like duct tape only she couldn't just come out and say "duct tape" because then we wouldn't have endless arguments on L-H that run like this: L-H 1: "It's duct tape!" L-H 2: "No it isn't!!" L-H 1: "Well what is it, then?" L-H 2: "I don't know, maybe it's a form of chocolate bar?" L-H 1: "I thought that moron Drukman made that up?" L-H 2: "Did he? Oh, I believe everything he says cos he's so cute and clever." L-H 3: "Me too! Let's elect him president of the universe!" L-H 4: "It's duct tape!" Also, imagine how it would sound on record: Suddenly my feet are feet of mud It all goes slo-mo I don't know why I'm crying Am I suspended in duct tape? OK. Who put the phenobarbitol in my herbal tea? -- Jon Drukman (extended remix) uunet!sco!jondr jondr@sco.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Always note the sequencer - this will never let us down.