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From: cook@rpi.edu (Cathi A Cook)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: Housewives...
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Date: 14 May 91 03:37:49 GMT
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IO92142%MAINE.BITNET@VM1.gatech.edu (James Gray) writes:



>During a conversation with a friend of mine who is a feminist.
>She (no xx), and I were discussing various topics.  Finally
>I said to her...

>You're going to have to realize that there are women (no womyn)
>out there that *want* to be housewives or want to have children
>and *not* work while raising them.  They want these things.

I daresay that this comes as no surprise to most women, no matter
what choices we ourselves have made.

>Well, needless to say she didn't believe me,
       ===============

I am unsure what you are implying by this use of "needless to say".
Should it be instantly obvious to all of us _why_ this woman didn't
believe you? The only reason I can think of that she wouldn't have
believed this is if she is very young and had only career women as
role models.

> and started on this
>explaination about how if these women where *enlightened* about
>how they have been brought up wrong.  I was amazed when she said
>this.  She thought that any women that sayed at home with
>the children was *ignorant* and needed to see the other
>side of the fence, and once she did she would leap to greener
>pastures.

In any area of life you will find people who are so excited by 
what they are doing and enjoy it so much that they can't _imagine_
how anyone could feel any different. Some music lovers can't imagine
how anyone could ever stomach "elevator music" (read "classical"),
others think that rock'n'roll is atonal garbage. Apparently you
simply encountered a fanatic. Fanaticism can, in some cases, be
countered by wider knowledge and experience, in other cases it is a
lifelong philosophy.

>Well, I'm not sure how many feminists believe this, but
>sorry folx.  There are women who like their lives and
>their lives would make you sick.

Again, you jump to unwarranted conclusions based, apparently, on a
sample space of one. I admire women who can make homemaking their
life, they have a skill that I don't. Housework bores me, and I'm
terrible at it. I've tried being a housewife, and I simply can't
find enough to do to fill the hours.

My sister has chosen to be a housewife and mother full-time. My
quarrel with her lies not in her choice to do so, but in that she
just doesn't seem to put a lot of effort into trying to do it well.
She refuses to send her children to public school, but spends very
little time teaching them herself. She hates math, so she simply
doesn't bother teaching it to them. They score very low on 
standardized tests, though they are all demonstrably bright children.

>  Also, if you want others
>to have an open mind to your beliefs you should be the
>first to have an open mind to theirs.

And again, you are basing the idea that we _don't_ have an open
mind on a sample space of one.

Are there any readers out there who are genuinely disgusted by the
thought of a woman choosing to make motherhood and homemaking her
sole career?

>*Note* This last post was intended to be general and not in
>the least an attack.  Just pondering.

Indeed, you made quite a few generalizations.

>James Gray

                             -rocker