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From: jhenk@hmcvax.claremont.EDU
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: "Woman" or "Girl"?
Message-ID: <1991May21.022354.1@hmcvax.claremont.edu>
Date: 21 May 91 18:26:21 GMT
Organization: Harvey Mudd College
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   I had no idea how deeply this issue ran, or even that it existed until
my ex-SO told me in a rather sensitive moment that she wanted to know if
I thought of her as a "girl" or as a "woman". Suspecting that this was
one of those there's-a-right-answer-here-but-I-don't-have-a-clue-what's-
going-on moments, I admittedly guessed and said "woman". She almost
broke down in tears. Panicked, I waited for some kind of embellishment.
She said she was so glad that someone thought of her as a woman and not
a girl. It was only then that I realized what was happening. Whew. You see,
I always did think of her as someone I respected greatly as an independent
thinker, a doer, someone who cared deeply about many things (me included,
and the feeling was mutual), and incredibly beautiful. BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT SHE WAS WRAPPING THIS ALL UP IN A TERM. Seriously, for all the
terrificness in her, I really think that I could have badly damaged things
if I had given the "wrong" answer.
   So, the upshot? If you are going to press this issue, PLEASE make sure
that the person you are talking to understands what you are getting at.
Otherwise you may well be talking apples and oranges. That's dangerous
when feelings are running high.

   Just my two cents for what they are worth...
                                                 Jim.

               internet: jhenk@hmcvax.claremont.edu
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