Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!usc!aero-c!nadel From: ibmchs!auschs!greenber.LOCAL!jfh@cs.utexas.edu (John F Haugh II) Newsgroups: soc.feminism Subject: Re: Book Review: Against Our Will Message-ID: <1991May24.215732.10118@aero.org> Date: 24 May 91 21:57:32 GMT References: <1991May15.144955.22072@aero.org> Sender: news@aero.org Organization: Best Care South of the Red River, LCC, Austin, Republic of Texas Lines: 71 Approved: nadel@aerospace.aero.org In-Reply-To: <7906@alvin.mcnc.org> Status: R Originator: nadel@aerospace.aero.org In article <7906@alvin.mcnc.org> you write: >In article <1991May15.144955.22072@aero.org> I wrote: > >Brownmiller and others create this image > >that all men are oppressors and all women are victims, > >even in the face of evidence that men and women are > >individuals falling somewheres on a continuum between > >victim and oppressor.... > >I think that Brownmiller is perfectly aware of this continuum. >In my opinion, the point she is making is *not* that all men >are rapists, but that all men *benefit* from the actions of >rapists. All men most certainly do not benefit from rape. Rape places on men's shoulders this imagined burden of protecting women from an unlikely event. Yes, I do understand that roughly 1 in 4 women will be raped or sexually abused in their lifetimes. However, a similiarly large number of men will be the victims of violent crimes, as well as victims of sexual abuse. As others have pointed out, aggrevated assault is 10 times more frequent than rape, and most of the victims are male. And not that surprising, is that men stand a 1 in 6 chance of being sexually abused. I have been the victim of numerous violent crimes, including sexual abuse, spousal abuse (battered husband), mugging, armed robbery, etc. What stopped the pattern of abuse for me was to stop viewing myself as a victim - the last violent act ever commited against me was by a young man that tried to steal my car, with me in it. At that point I decided that I had been a victim long enough, and fought back. He is now serving 14 years (unless he has been parolled) in prison. The entire experience, of confronting my attacker and winning, through to the trial and his conviction, empowered me to stop being a victim. Except for the sexual abuse and the spouse abuse, all of the violent acts against me were commited by blacks. Should I say that "all blacks benefit from violence against whites" since whites tend to stay away from inner city areas? Since my sexual abusers were homo- or bi- sexuals, should I say that "all homosexuals benefit from sexual abuse against heterosexuals"? How about "all women benefit from husband battering"? Some men do benefit from rape, some women benefit from rape as well. If you have ever been a habitual victim, you might understand this. Think of all the attention you can get if you can just this once get beaten up =really= bad. How much more sympathy could you get if you only got two black eyes instead of one? The first act of violence against your person should be the last act. A young woman at the local corner store was recently beaten by her boyfriend. I told her my experience, and tried to provide some emotional support, much as any concerned friend might. I would ask her from time to time if she was doing OK. After some time she seemed to be doing perfectly well - but she is back with this same guy all over again. Who is benefitting from this cycle? The people around her that are encouraging her to get away from this abusive boyfriend, or the woman who is getting the sympathy and attention of her friends? I would say that some of each - the friends get to play the concerned friend and the woman gets to be the poor victim. In any victim/oppressor situation like the above, unless you actively seek to break the cycle of abuse, you are at least passively supporting it. The real friends are the ones that build up her self-confidence so she sees that she doesn't have to associate with this guy, not the ones that pat her on the head and tell her how terrible her boyfriend is. In the case of any violent crime, the best thing the individual can do is avoid genuinely dangerous situations (such as any location called "Rape Alley"), and spread the word that violence will not be tolerated, then take steps to provide for a credible deterance. Get a gun, take a self-defense class, and be vocal about it.