Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!sun-barr!olivea!oliveb!bunker!hcap!hnews!300!14!James.Womack From: James.Womack@f14.n300.z1.fidonet.org (James Womack) Newsgroups: misc.handicap Subject: Acceptance Message-ID: <16057@handicap.news> Date: 17 Jun 91 15:29:10 GMT Sender: wtm@bunker.isc-br.com Reply-To: James.Womack@f14.n300.z1.fidonet.org Organization: FidoNet node 1:300/14 - The Emerald Isle, Tucson AZ Lines: 63 Approved: wtm@bunker.hcap.fidonet.org Index Number: 16057 [This is from the Silent Talk Conference] Jessica, like with any group, people have to kind of earn their way in. Whether it is a team, a gang, a department in some agency or whatever; the newcomer is an outsider until proven otherwise. I experienced and still experience rejection for various reasons with various groups. Take my views on mainstreaming and MCE for example. I am not exactly against either though I am a stauch advocate of ASL as a first language and in high favor of residential schools I F they are willing to open up and acknowledge that historic hearizing of the Deaf is a failure and not the answer to better education of the Deaf. In any case, my views that mainstreaming has a place for certain Deaf kids I F it is true mainstreaming and not voucher money contests and the fact that I would advocate MCE for certain deafies whose first language actually is English sometimes gets me in trouble with the culturally Deaf. Because I am post-lingually deaf, my support of ASL as a first language and basis for teaching English as a second language AFTER ASL is mastered, gets me in hot water with hearies and deafies who advocate MCE or speech orientated approaches. Still, I always have a bevy of good people who simply respct the fact that I think the way I do because I am who I am as is true for themselves Within every group, there are those people who will love and respect you not only for yourself but oftentimes in spite of yourself. Hang in there; you're bond to bump into them sooner or later if you haven't already. Now with the Deaf-too often wolves in sheep's clothing have undermined and betrayed the Deaf. People who were hearing or deaf people who had hearing mindsets would come in and win our trust. Then we'd get stabbed in the back by their advocating things they claimed we wanted but which they had never asked us if we did---and all too often we didn't want it. These people would (I think unintentionally) destroy us as an independent people and all things we hold dear. I don't have the time here to go into detail but will if you ask me to. We have learned the H A R D way to be very leery of people who "seem" heaing in thought and behavior. As a result, deaf people like you and hearies who genuinely wish to be a part of the Deaf Community are shunned until either a Deaf advocate vouches for the person or the person proves over time that s/he can be trusted. It's a process that takes a bit of time but it no different from wiggling your way into any other group. But believe me, I have an understand of rejection that you probably wouldn't imagine. In my case, it means little to me as long as I believe in myself and what I am doing. As long as I have that straight, nothing else matters. Now the interesting thing for me is that my "sometimes" rejectors come off as my biggest supporters in other issues. They often consult with me on how to handle a variety of matters, even some personal things. I think it probably not so much the person theo object to as it is the issues. In any case, I think I am trying to say, keep at it because in the end a balance is struck. It's just group dynamics at work. Often a group itself does not understand the dynamics that mak ethem behave as they do.Making it your business to understand that can go a long way in making it work for you. I actually think it is kind of fun watching and making the transition happen, really. Uh, oh, time to get and be gone. Later, Jes. -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!300!14!James.Womack Internet: James.Womack@f14.n300.z1.fidonet.org