Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!sdd.hp.com!samsung!olivea!oliveb!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Keith.Jones From: Keith.Jones@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Keith Jones) Newsgroups: misc.handicap Subject: Operation? Message-ID: <16205@handicap.news> Date: 18 Jun 91 16:30:47 GMT Sender: wtm@bunker.isc-br.com Reply-To: Keith.Jones@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org Organization: FidoNet node 1:157/3 - Nerd's Nook, Rocky River OH Lines: 52 Approved: wtm@bunker.hcap.fidonet.org Index Number: 16205 [This is from the Spinal Injury Conference] Sheila, I guess I should tell you I am 35 years old. The operation took place when I was 28. If I only knew then what I know now. But it does me absolutely no good at all to morbidly reflect on the past and wonder what if. I have got to live in the now with the SCI and make the best of it. I should mention that the neurosurgeon who performed the operation was highly regarded. He had not had any problems in 10 years and had done this procedure hundreds of times. I should mention that his mistake devastated him (not nearly as much as it did me). However he has to live with himself knowing what he did. I'm not so sure I would want to live in his shoes. Anyway I have no malice towards the man. He is human and he made a mistake. It is just that a neurosurgeon's mistake causes much more harm than a auto mechanic's mistake. God has enabled me to forgive fortunately. I did file a malpractice suit but needless to say no amount of money would ever give me back what I lost. I would gladly give back all to be ablebodied again. Again,I cannot live in the past. As I mentioned I was able to go back to school and get a degree in Social Work. That was before the terrible problems I now have with pain. Unfortunately, because of a bad back my sitting time is severely limited and getting worse daily. I also have terrible foot pain. I simply cannot work a full-time job and the characteristics of my pain (never know when it will be good or bad) will not allow me to even commit to part-time. Additionally, I worry about losing my Medicare benefits if I work, though I have heard there are ways around that. I also have terrible spasticity which is exascerbated by cold weather and changes in the weather. May sound like a lot of excuses but they are all major obstacles. I really would love to work! Finally, As far as wheelchair sports go, I have not raced since the pain started two years ago. I really did enjoy it and even got some TV coverage. Because of the aforementioned problems this activity has been put on the back burner (for two years now) and I wonder if I will ever race again. My story may sound like a hard luck story and it is, but I know of many others who never had the opportunities I have had. What is hard is to work hard at something (school, racing, etc.) and then lose the ability to do it. I have to constantly search within myself to find something else I can do. Now it's this computer. With everything else I had going on, I certainly never would have discovered this. Thank God I have. Well thats enough self disclosure for me, now tell me about you. -Keith- -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Keith.Jones Internet: Keith.Jones@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org