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From: Keith.Jones@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Keith Jones)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Operation?
Message-ID: <16205@handicap.news>
Date: 18 Jun 91 16:30:47 GMT
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Index Number: 16205

[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]

   Sheila, I guess I should tell you I am 35 years old. The operation
took place when I was 28. If I only knew then what I know now. But it
does me absolutely no good at all to morbidly reflect on the past and
wonder what if. I have got to live in the now with the SCI and make the
best of it.
   I should mention that the neurosurgeon who performed the operation
was highly regarded. He had not had any problems in 10 years and had
done this procedure hundreds of times. I should mention that his mistake
devastated him (not nearly as much as it did me). However he has to live
with himself knowing what he did. I'm not so sure I would want to live
in his shoes. Anyway I have no malice towards the man. He is human and
he made a mistake. It is just that a neurosurgeon's mistake causes much
more harm than a auto mechanic's mistake. God has enabled me to forgive
fortunately.
   I did file a malpractice suit but needless to say no amount of money
would ever give me back what I lost. I would gladly give back all to be
ablebodied again. Again,I cannot live in the past.
   As I mentioned I was able to go back to school and get a degree in
Social Work. That was before the terrible problems I now have with pain.
Unfortunately, because of a bad back my sitting time is severely limited
and getting worse daily. I also have terrible foot pain. I simply cannot
work a full-time job and the characteristics of my pain (never know when
it will be good or bad) will not allow me to even commit to part-time.
Additionally, I worry about losing my Medicare benefits if I work,
though I have heard there are ways around that. I also have terrible
spasticity which is exascerbated by cold weather and changes in the
weather. May sound like a lot of excuses but they are all major
obstacles. I really would love to work!
   Finally, As far as wheelchair sports go, I have not raced since the
pain started two years ago. I really did enjoy it and even got some TV
coverage. Because of the aforementioned problems this activity has been
put on the back burner (for two years now) and I wonder if I will ever
race again.
  My story may sound like a hard luck story and it is, but I know of
many others who never had the opportunities I have had. What is hard is
to work hard at something (school, racing, etc.) and then lose the
ability to do it. I have to constantly search within myself to find
something else I can do. Now it's this computer. With everything else I
had going on, I certainly never would have discovered this. Thank God I
have.

  Well thats enough self disclosure for me, now tell me about you.

                    -Keith-

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