Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!rpi!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!mips!dimacs.rutgers.edu!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: sasjzc@dev.sas.com (James Cox) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: prayer for others (was BIBLE references) Message-ID: Date: 26 Jun 91 04:20:37 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: SAS Institute Inc. Lines: 107 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu This is the first time I have posted to this newsgroup, but I find the discussions interesting (although sometimes it seems that people are arguing points without making their assumptions clear, when people on different sides may have very different assumptions). I have some strong ideas about prayer, including what I see as common misconceptions about it, but I also think it is extremely important in any kind of spiritual relationship with the Lord. First of all, I have a very rich and rewarding prayer life. I find that when I am down, I can talk to God and he will pull me up. And when I am arrogant, he points that out. It seems to me that my prayer takes the form of a two-way conversation --- and God never lets me gloss over what is important. He is my best friend. I find that when my relationship with God is strongest, right-kind of thinking comes more naturally. If I am in a car, and feel angry at the car ahead of me because it is going too slow, or waits until there are no cars in sight before it will turn at a stop sign, and I am tempted to honk at them, if my prayer relationship is strong, I will hear the gentle inner voice saying, "But they may be elderly, and may need to drive the way they do." And I suddenly realize how harassed I would feel in their situation if someone honked at me. HOWEVER, I feel strongly that prayer is misused by many well-meaning Christians. I would not raise this point if I did not think it led to a wrong-type of thinking. Some people seem to look at prayer as an attempt to get God to do something you want. I personally do not believe that God intercedes in our day-to-day life down here. If God did, he/she would be messing with our own free will. But, even if he/she does, the idea that God is going to alter his plan just because someone asks him to is horribly self-righteous. Some people seem to have the view that God has a fan-club, and he/she is impressed by fan mail. God comes into the office and asks St. Peter, "Well, what kind of prayer requests do we have today?" St. Peter responds, "Well, 5 people in Nantucket are praying that this little boy with AIDS lives". God says disappointedly, "Oh, only five? Let us see if we can do better than that!". St. Peter brightens. "But in OMiGosh, Wisconsin, we have a whole church praying that a three year old gets a kidney that his body will accept." God says, graciously, "Well, let's see what we can do for that boy". This example is clearly ridiculous, but it points out many misconceptions. People pray that God will heal someone, or that he/she will help them get the raise they need, or that he/she will help them get a date on Saturday night. This has several unfortunate consequences: 1. Their relationship with God becomes very self-centered, i.e. "God, what can you do for me?", rather than directed at spiritual growth. How would your friends react to you if your conversation with them was dominated by requests? 2. When the prayed-for event does not occur, people blame God, or, even worse, may blame themselves for not being spiritual enough. This is particularly bad if the event is something that the individual does have control over (e.g. getting a date Friday night). It is always a temptation to blame someone else for your own failures. It is much more advantageous to say, "God, what can I do to help myself get a date Friday night?" (And be prepared for an answer to come to you). 3. People begin to believe that God plays favorites. One thing that concerns me about the attitude of many Christians is that they seem to believe that they belong to a select, special club that can get God's "Ear" when they need to. This club even has passwords that all the faithful know, like "Are you SAVED??!" "Have YOU accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior???!" By saying "YES", you magically become a member of this special club. If there is any type of attitude that Jesus preached against, it was this one. I think if Jesus came today, he would speak of the born-again Christians much as he spoke of the Pharisees then. Does that mean I believe that intercessional (i.e. praying that God will intervene in our affairs) prayer should not be done? No. I think that when we are really praying unselfishly for someone else to succeed, we are accomplishing several purposes: 1. We are demonstrating that we care about this person. This is especially true when we include helping actions with our prayer. I definitely believe in self-healing, and a prime factor in this is wanting to get better, which is particularly easy when you know that people care. 2. We are establishing right-kind of thinking with regard to that other person. We are putting someone else's needs high enough on our list to interrupt our very personal conversation with the creator to talk about them. 3. We potentially can bolster the good in our relationship with them. When you show true respect and caring for another, they are likely to return that respect. One caveat, however. The phrase, "I will pray for you" is objectionable to many people (partially because it can imply that you have a direct link that is not available to them, or they may not even believe in God). I would ask that you remember Paul's admonishment not to eat sacrificed meat (as a means of recognizing the recipient's needs). Sometimes a statement like, "I care. What can I do to help" can be just as (if not more) effective for such people. With Love in Christ, Jim Cox