From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!npoiv!npois!houxi!ihps3!ihnss!knudsen
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: RE: Friends of opposite sex
Article-I.D.: ihnss.226
Posted: Mon Oct 11 16:05:43 1982
Received: Fri Oct 15 02:10:41 1982

I am glad to see this topic get on the net: close friendships
with the opposite sex. I have been involved in such friendships for
many years, far various reasons. I find women to be much better friends
for talking about anything of a personal nature (as opposed to sports,
hobbies, etc). I'm a normal male so I'm attacted to women,
but I've never been very acceptable as "more than" a friend to them.
So, long ago, I learned (unconciously) to make the best of the situation.

I have run into the usual amount of misunderstanding, rumors, etc
from other people, including from some individuals of whom I would
have expected better. At the same time, I have been pleasantly
surprised by some people who did understand, including one woman'
husband, who I also befriended. Yes, I find married women easier to
make friends with, since they know from the beginning friendship
is all you're after.

I firmly belive that you should be friends first and become lovers later.
Unfortunately, many of us scientific/intellectual/technical types
who want some sex have to move quickly before the lady gets to know
how weird, wimpy, or unsophisticated we are.
It seems too, that once a woman gets to thinking of you as a friend,
it's very hard for her to upgrade her image of you.

I would certainly like to live in a milieu where people could have
relatively casual physical relationships with those who were their
friends -- I certainly see no need to be one-at-a-time about it,
nor to maintain a strict friends-vs-screwers distinction.

I ougt to be afraid to sign this bomb--