From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!floyd!cmcl2!philabs!sdcsvax!laman
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: thought s on marraige
Article-I.D.: sdcsvax.2450
Posted: Tue Nov  9 13:42:54 1982
Received: Fri Nov 12 04:10:13 1982

Strange that this is in net.singles, but ...

Mr. Glerum,

	If/when you get married, you must put your spouse first.
Yes, above wealth and your own feelings.  If you don't then, your marraige
is doomed since it is not built on solid ground.  Things change sharply
enough these days.  Fortunes appear and disappear.  People and feelings
change.  You must have a lasting commitment to the other person ABOVE
your self and possessions.

	I would strongly (!) suggest that you find someone that holds the
same basic truths that you do.  The more stable those beliefs and that
you are, the better.

	You have to be ready to give everything inside you (and more) to
the other person.  That (I feel), is the true meaning of love.  If you can't
give that person your time, attention, feelings, experiences, and anything else
needed, then you don't love that person enough to be married.  This may sound
strange to some, but the problem is we throw the word "love" around with little
thought of its meaning.  It is self denial and both conscious and unconscious
giving.  It can drain you of everything inside.  But if you find the right one
for you, you will find that she will return the same to you.

	People change and so will your spouse.  You have to accept that and
keep in touch with their changes.  You can't stop them from changing, nor
should you.  If you don't hold the same basic beliefs, then these changes
can tear apart the best of marraiges, and relationships.

					Mike Laman
					...sdcsvax!laman
					mike@NPRDC