From: utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!ARPAVAX:CAD:teklabs!zehntel!sytek!blk
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: marriage and love
Article-I.D.: sytek.222
Posted: Wed Nov 10 10:17:48 1982
Received: Mon Nov 15 09:12:13 1982


Charles has been wondering aloud about the role of Romantic Love in marriage.
He points out that one can make a marriage successful by *deciding* to
love the other.
	How quickly we forget our history!  There have been many more years
of the parents or elders arranging marriages than any other system, and
it is still done in much of the world.  Gothic novels aside, these marriages
worked!  Healthy, loving families were raised, generations passed.
	Why was this done?  Because raising a family was serious.  The heart
was considered, to be sure, but often took a back seat.  Why do we consider
this barbaric nowadays?  I think because 1) We put fun first now, and
2) it is possible to be single; maintaining a house can be done in this
century without long hours of work, all week.
	I've heard it said (by divorcees) that one should only marry a friend.
Lover is not enough.  I put forth that our (read American) emphasis on
the romantic and fantastic has gotten so extreme and even *dogmatic* that
we, as a culture, are doomed to disillusion.
	I am a big indulger in Romance and Fantasies; to my distress,
I have found through sharing this indulgence with others, that Romance
unseasoned by realism and sense comes out as flat and hollow as Hollywood.

In short, I both agree and disagree with Charles.  What do others think?
		
			not afraid of fear itself,
			brian
PS-I sure hope this is the right newsgroup for this stuff.  If not, count me
	out for the singles potlucks!