From: utzoo!decvax!cca!hplabs!hao!menlo70!sytek!zehntel!teklabs!charliep@sri-unix
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: marriage and love
Article-I.D.: teklabs.1531
Posted: Wed Nov 10 00:54:19 1982
Received: Tue Nov 16 03:50:57 1982

I have always been a little suspicious of the popular supposition that
we should expect to be "swept off our feet" by our prospective mate(s).
That is not to say we cannot submerge ourselves in feelings of romantic
love; on the contrary!  But the strength of a marriage will not be found
in that submergence.  In my experience, the strength necessary to make
a good marriage comes more from the *decision to love our mate* than it
does from any magical stream of love pouring down on us.  As a result,
I am perturbed when people claim that "the spark is gone", or try to
suggest that some mystical "lovons" are needed before they can feel right
about their marriage.  Those people essentially discount the role that
rationality and maturity play in loving relationships.  Similarly, the
ability of my marriage to last "til death do us part" will rest more
on my moral resolve and *work*, than on whether I am overwhelmed
emotionally by love.

Why did I post this?  Maybe I just wanted to find out whether anyone
agrees with me, or whether I have missed out on that something that makes
other people read so many gothic novels, etc...

31MWMvariedinterests225#6'9"nophotonecessarylikeCS&nonCScantcooklagnaf
Charles Perkins
Tektronix

PS.  Where is the appropriate place for topics like this??  Is it
     REALLY net.singles??