From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!eagle!mhuxt!mhuxa!mhuxh!mhuxm!pyuxjj!rlr
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: Marriage as a contract
Article-I.D.: pyuxjj.350
Posted: Tue Nov 16 12:49:11 1982
Received: Wed Nov 17 05:24:58 1982
References: pyuxjj.349 rocheste.232

TO:  jim heliotis   (This guy IS serious!)
Don't come crying to me when your marriage breaks up because you marry someone
who gets tired of doing your laundry and asks you to help out, at
which point you refuse, saying that "I  *assumed*  that YOU would do all of
the housework."  It's one thing when a marriage breaks up because two people
find out that they're absolutely incompatible.  It's quite another when it
breaks up because the wife says:  "He never helps out around the house" and
the husband says:  "She's not doing what I assumed she would do as my wife".
(There's no reason to assume *anything* when you're talking about something of
this magnitude.)

When you take on a major project at work you define everyone's responsibilities
and commit yourselves to particular goals.  Isn't a marriage worthy of the
thought and planning that goes into such a project?  Remember, it might not
be the laundry issue; it might be any number of other issues that come up
in a relationship.  (Someday YOU might be out of work,  SHE might be working,
and YOU'LL have to do the laundry.)  Are you willing to take the chance that
love will conquer all, or would you rather use some common sense?
				Rich
P.S. to the couple whose contract was written up by Tinkerbell, et al:
Sounds like your marriage was conceived in Never Never Land.  Maybe, if
your marriage falls apart, when we all close our eyes and just believe in it,
it will start to work again, right?

Another P.S. to those who say:  "How can you bring up the subject of creating
a plan/contract with someone you really love?"  If you really love the other
person, and if the relationship is mature enough to handle the topic, there's
no problem.  If not, I guess that means you're just not ready for marriage.
Problems a lot more difficult than telling your prospective spouse that the
two of you should work out a marriage contract are going to pop up in the
course of your marriage,  and if you're not ready to handle this "problem"...