From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!ihnp4!ihldt!ll1!otuxa!lsk
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: SOS - (nf)
Article-I.D.: otuxa.175
Posted: Tue Dec 28 08:00:56 1982
Received: Wed Dec 29 03:13:42 1982
References: pur-ee.769

Re: "do I just stay friends with" -- trying to force something to happen
when the other party just doesn't see you as a lover (or whatever you are
after) does not work very well. In two cases I have had to just stay friends.
The "bad" news is that after , oh, seven years, nothing has really changed,
i.e. we are still very good friends but that is about it. The good part is,
I have two friends.
   As for your feelings of inadequacy in this general area, I can offer a lot
of empathy, but the bottom line, I believe, is to keep believing in yourself.
I truly believe that self-confidence is the most important factor in, dare
we say it, being sexy. HOW you achieve that is up to you, especially if you
THINK it has to be based on past experience (obviously, it doesn't).

Do people see you as you do? DEFINITELY NOT! They see you through THEIR
eyes, based on THEIR perceptions of the world. We don't know how to read
each other's minds yet. Some people can get to know you extremely well,
and make good guesses as to what you are really thinking, but it is always
based on THEIR perceptions of what is going on. I wouldn't worry about it.

In fact, if at all possible, don't worry (period). Worrying is wasting time
in the present about something that has not occurred in the future. If you
think worrying is constructive, try worrying about a PAST event.

- Larry S. Kaufman
   Western Electric, Network Software Center