From: utzoo!watmath!watcgl!dmmartindale
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: People who are looking for love
Article-I.D.: watcgl.83
Posted: Wed Dec 29 20:56:16 1982
Received: Thu Dec 30 00:14:16 1982
References: otuxa.176

	From otuxa!lsk Tue Dec 28 08:04:45 1982
	Subject: Re: People who are looking for love
	net.singles

	IT seems we have a paradox here.

	Women presumbably want men with feelings and sensitivity, yet,
	what I hear some of you saying is, express those feelings and
	you get screwed (but not literally). This makes no sense, but
	then, what does?

	Larry S. Kaufman Western Electric, Network Software Center


Part of the problem here is that the situation is too complex to sum up
in one sentence like this.  Try to think of how you would feel with the
positions interchanged.  As a man, you probably want women with feelings
and sensitivity, correct?  Imagine you meet a woman who you like and
who seems to be a reasonably sane, stable individual, but who is lonely
and looking for companionship (for some simple reason - like working in a
field where there are few men).  Suppose she tells you or otherwise lets
you see that she is lonely - are you likely to withdraw from her simply
because she admits this?  I think not, though you might have second thoughts
for a bit.

Now suppose you meet a woman who is very unhappy with her life: she doesn't
like the way it's turning out but she either doesn't know how to change it
herself or isn't willing to make the effort, and she believes that somehow
once she meets Prince Charming and he falls in love with her then he'll
sweep her off her feet and everything will be All Right.  You get the
impression that she's like you to be prince charming for her.  How would
you react in this case?  (I'd be VERY afraid of getting involved with her,
even as a friend - I'd be afraid that she'd become too dependent on me.)

It's probably the same with (at least some) women - it may be okay for men
to be simply lonely (and in a field with so many more men than women,
this is probably awfully common) but if a man is terribly, desperately,
consumingly lonely, he's likely to be avoided.