From: utzoo!decvax!decwrl!sun!megatest!fortune!hpda!hplabs!hao!seismo!rlgvax!thekid
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: single_but_wish_the_hell_I_was_married
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.179
Posted: Sun Apr  3 14:27:07 1983
Received: Tue Apr  5 01:04:02 1983


But... society has chosen to devalue marriage.
A divorce is ten minutes and no pain in many places (although if one
party chooses to contest the issue that won't happen).

When (read if) I marry, I WANT it to be a life time thing.  And that's
not like I want a nice day today, I will do just about anything to have
that happen, if it means giving up my job, moving to Kankakee Ill.,
whatever.  And that (I think) is what it takes to make it last.
People tend to get what they want, I see no reason that this should be
different.

Disregarding economic/social reasons for marriage (which I feel is
reasonable as we make an equal place for women in our society),
the only reason I've for `marriage' (as opposed to be posslq's etc.)
seems to be that it makes a PUBLIC committment between two people
that they are PARTNERS.  (Plug for the libbers, there.)  Much akin
to the committment to Jesus that the Christian religion requires.
Quote is something like, `if you acknowledge me in front of men,
I'll acknowledge you in front of my heavenly father, if you don't,
I won't either.'  I think that's a valid principle.

Note: I'm not saying that a lack of committment is wrong.  (I'm equating
lack of committment with belief that the relationship may be
temporary here, folks.)  But don't be surprised when it doesn't last.
If you go into something thinking that you can lose, and making contingency
plans in case you do, you may not be wrong, but you sure as shooting
are going to lose when you go up against someone who doesn't understand
that they can lose.  The principle applies.  If I feel I don't HAVE to
win, I lose a vital edge, a flavor of no-holds-barred.

Vote me mostly with Illeman; but I won't say it's wrong.  Just, as
a favor to those of us who do believe it is serious, who are serious,
(gullible, whatever) don't tell us it's forever if it's three to five.

		thekid
		...![ seismo, mcnc, we13, lime ]!rlgvax!thekid

p.s.	I feel I am being `old-fashioned' here, I don't particularly think
	that marriage is the wave of the future.  I suspect that
	disposable relationships are the coming thing.  I don't think
	either is right or wrong... But, if you DO believe in doing things
	on a temporary `as long as it's good for us both' basis, you should
	expect the end to come, and you shouldn't complain about it happening.
	Frankly, if you are able to do that, i.e. you are secure enough that
	it doesn't bother you, I envy you.