From: utzoo!decvax!decwrl!sun!megatest!fortune!hpda!hplabs!hao!seismo!uwvax!reid
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: Friends/Lovers
Article-I.D.: uwvax.809
Posted: Tue Apr  5 02:28:00 1983
Received: Thu Apr  7 01:31:58 1983



I am a male who has found himself (herein referred to as 'myself') in situations
like those Greg Woods described many times.  I have lots of friends who are
female (I am in college), and although I don't pick my friends by their
external beauty, a number of them have attracted me a great deal.  Perhaps
I sought their friendship in the first place because they were attractive, but
in any case I sought just that--their friendship, which may be part of the
problem later.  When you first meet somebody there seems to be an instant
where it is decided if there is to be a "spark" between you or not.  If you
don't really pay attention to the person, or whatever, sometimes you can
squelch forever any feelings of attraction [all my off-the-cuff-in-the-middle-
of-the-night opinions].  Then, later, after friendship develops, you suddenly
discover a latent attraction, but you feel impotent to develop it.  Why?
Many times it boils down to the social dancing we must all do, and whether or
not it is proper.  Have you gone out with her friend(s) in the past?  Is one
of her friends interested in you so, out of chivalry she won't get involved?
Are you just downright unattractive to her?  Hmmmmm.  I think that if the
friendship is "good" enough, there *has* to be attraction, though not always
physical.  Some friendships turn out to be bullsh*t, some turn out to be 
one-sided, but in the ones that are genuine, I think there has to be attraction.
Sad as it may sound, I cannot reconcile true friendship (which includes love,
admiration, etc.) with someone whom I find unattractive.  I can like a person,
even a great deal, based on their personality traits, but if I'm repulsed,
even insignificantly, by someone, then I am not really his/her friend, am I?

I digress.  Any comments? flames?  Is somebody listening enough to at least
set me back on track?

Glenn Reid
..seismo!uwvax!reid