From: utzoo!watmath!watcgl!ihardtke
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: one last letter
Article-I.D.: watcgl.353
Posted: Tue Apr 19 10:27:18 1983
Received: Tue Apr 19 23:52:25 1983

This is in regards to letters that begin "This is one last letter to
tell you once and for all how I feel ..."; the kind that are received
months/years after the "formal" end of a relationship.  The sort that
fall into 2 categories:  the "I still love you, damn you" kind, or, the
kind with the "I still love you" removed.  I, yesterday, received one
of the latter sort.

I realize that the actual writing of these letters is therapeutic (I
have written both kinds) but what I don't understand is why anyone
would actually "mail" them.  Mine (sigh of relief) have all ended
up in the garbage can.

Either kind serve only to stir up old feelings of hurt, guilt, etc.
(all those "great" sentiments involved in ending a relationship) or
they generate completely new wounds.  Needless hurt that is refreshed
and/or propogated; why?

I guess that my reason for submiting this is twofold:  for one, I'd
like to think that maybe this will make even one person stop and think
about dropping such a letter in a bin (ie. was this to help me or to
bite back?) and secondly, for those who have sent/received such letters,
I'm interested in hearing any thoughts you might have regards this
(ie. "how did you deal with it?" or "did mailing it really make you
feel better?").

                                  signed,
                                  she-who-is-trying-to-understand.
                                  (Ines)