From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!seismo!hao!cires!nbires!russ
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: Tom Swifties
Article-I.D.: nbires.138
Posted: Sat Apr 23 12:21:35 1983
Received: Mon Apr 25 03:34:39 1983



"But I *do* sing in key", Tom intoned.
"I'm chopping onions", Tom minced.
"I'm bleeding", Tom gushed.
"I could swear I already graded this paper", Tom remarked.
"I'm using bath crystals!", Tom bubbled.
"I'm tired of mashing grapes", Tom whined.
"You dirty <ethnic>", Tom slurred.
"That dog has no breed", Tom muttered.
"I'm dying", Tom said gravely.
"I'm alive!", Tom said quickly.
"OK, but this is the second time you've borrowed this", Tom relented.
"Ha! You only winged me", Tom shot back..
"I don't know what I want for breakfast", Tom waffled.
"What's *your* sexual preference?", Tom queried.
"I'm a happy homosexual", said Tom gaily.