From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!eagle!mhuxt!mhuxj!mhuxa!houxm!houxz!hocda!spanky!burl!lda
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Title: another link in the chain
Article-I.D.: burl.144
Posted: Mon May  9 14:53:07 1983
Received: Thu May 19 19:14:14 1983

This was printed in one of the local newspapers about a year ago.
I'm not sure which one.  All I have is a photocopy of the column.

						Larry
_______________________________________________________

Calling all husbands and wives. I would like to add my link  this
morning  to  what  has  become  a chain column.  It appeared last
Friday in Dennis Rogers' column  in  the  News  and  Observer  in
Raleigh  (NC).  He  wrote  that when funny stories come along, we
columnists steal them and pass them along.  He's right.  It is  a
public service, I like to think.

This one, then comes from Dennis, who got it from Bob Terrell  in
Asheville, who got it from Dick Bothwell in St. Petersburg, Fla.,
who got it from somewhere.  I quote the tale word for word:

Seems a young couple was having a spat one morning.   Words  flew
hot  and  heavy,  and  then  a  silence so thick you could cut it
settled on the love nest.

They stormed around the  house,  ignoring  each  other,  slamming
doors, banging pots and huffing until the lady had a problem with
the long zipper in the back of her dress.

She backed up to her hubby and silently pointed over her shoulder
to  her  zipper, indicating that if he was any kind of husband at
all he would zip it up for her.

He grabbed the zipper tab and, with a quick slide, pulled  it  to
the top. Then -- as they used to say -- the devil flew in him and
he couldn't resist.  Up and down the zipper went, zip-zip-zip, as
the hubby let all of his anger out.

Then the zipper broke, leaving the lady standing in her  favorite
dress  with  a broken zipper, mad as a wet hen at her husband and
late for work.  The final straw came when hubby had  to  cut  her
out of the now-worthless dress.

She thought about it all day, plotting revenge against the  creep
she loved. The more she thought the madder she got.

Her chance for revenge came that night  as  she  came  home  from
work. There sticking out from under the family car, was a pair of
legs wearing pants.  Grunts and sounds of heavy  mechanical  work
from the greasy darkness underneath.

The lady tried, but she couldn't resist.  This was her chance.

She leaned over, grasped the pants zipper in her hand and  zipped
up and down like crazy, a blur of motion, until her anger abated.

Feeling smug, she walked in the house and headed for the kitchen.

There, sitting at the kitchen table, was her husband.

She stammered for a moment, felt faint  and  sat  down.  She  sat
quietly for a moment and then, in a tiny voice not really wanting
to hear the answer, asked "Who is that under the car?"

"That's Bill. He came to help me fix the  muffler."  her  husband
replied.  Then she told him what had happened.

He, at least, thought it was funny, and the  couple  decided  the
only  decent  thing  to  do  would  be  to  explain to Bill why a
neighbor lady was playing with his fly.  They went  back  outside
where Bill's legs still protruded from under the car.

"Bill?" called the husband.

Silence.

"Bill?" called the lady, nervously this time.

Still nothing.

The couple grabbed Bill's legs and pulled him out.

Bill was lying there, knocked cold as a  cucumber  with  a  nasty
gash  on  his  forehead from banging his head when a strange hand
had fumbled with his fly.

Bill recovered  nicely.   He  thought  it  was  funny,  once  the
swelling went down.

If that marriage survives, and with that kind of sense  of  humor
it  probably  will,  you  can  bet  that when the lady is old and
wrinkled her equally old  and  wrinkled  husband  will  still  be
telling that story.

                            * * *
-- 

Larry Auton	Western Electric	Burlington, NC	(919)228-3340