From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!seismo!hao!woods
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: Why Do People Go out With...?
Article-I.D.: hao.481
Posted: Thu Apr 28 15:47:10 1983
Received: Fri Apr 29 20:54:35 1983
References: abnjh.128


  I asked this very same question in this group a few months ago. I have not
seen the letter you (Jim Collymore) are referring to, but I have *often*
noted that the biggest assholes seem to get the ladies I want. This is so 
common in life (not just in relationships) that I can think of half a dozen 
cliches right off the top of my head: "Ladies love outlaws", "Nice guys finish
last", "the squeakiest wheel gets the oil", etc. 
  The only thing I can do to make myself feel better is to remember that there
are lots of not-so-squeaky wheels who badly need oil, and *consciously*
attempt to perceive real needs as opposed to spoken ones.
  The main thing I do is try not to remind myself too much of the "asshole
factor" (as I referred to it in another recent article), because if I think
about it too much I become depressed and cynical and hostile -- a state of 
mind which, needless to say, does not foster good relationships! :-)
   As a matter of fact, I have heard the "We're just friends" speech from
enough ladies I've persued that I've come to the point of regarding it as
a *negative* thing, a euphemism for "I don't want to go to bed with you",
even though I realize it's not meant to be derogatory in any way (at least
not usually! :-) ). 
  <flame> What the hell is so appealing about these macho assholes, anyway?!?
  I think they are jackasses. I think the problem is just human nature: why
  should a lady bother to seek out a shy guy when some other guy is actively
  persuing her and all she has to do is say yes? <flame off>

   Fortunately, I've met a few really sensitive women who find these guys a
major pain in the &%#@*! that gets in their way of meeting a genuinely nice
guy. Just remember, some women really do like nice, sensitive, intelligent
guys better than football players! (Don't you?)

                        GREG
 {ucbvax!hplabs | allegra!nbires | decvax!brl-bmd | harpo!seismo | menlo70}
       		        !hao!woods