From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!seismo!rlgvax!thekid
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Seeing someone who's involved.
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.347
Posted: Thu Apr 28 19:14:45 1983
Received: Fri Apr 29 22:35:42 1983


Getting involved with a MOPS who is involved with someone else...
*** spoiler -- male point of view ***

That's one of the more interesting things you can do.
The key seemed to be not putting ANY pressure on the woman.
She's got a lot of pressure without you adding to it.
If you push her, you become obnoxious.

It's difficult to see two people at once, especially if you have a
long-term relationship with one of them.  Don't discourage her from talking
about `him'.  That's part of her life, if she feels a need to talk about
it, let her.  But don't comment (you obviously aren't objective), just listen.
Actually, how she treats him should tell you an awful lot.  If she'll lie
to HIM to go out with YOU, she'll lie to YOU to go out with HIM.  Watch if
she is honestly trying to make a decision.  Sometime EARLY in the relationship,
she should make a clear/clean decision for someone.  Being in the `Valley
of Wimpdom' isn't much fun.

Finally, if it's at all possible, keep yourself from being REALLY serious
about her until she has made that decision in your favor, or at least one
against him.  You can wait: think back, how long does YOUR average
relationship last?  She'll get rid of him sooner or later, then you
can tell her how you `really' feel.

With luck, the other guy that she's seeing will decide to be wildly jealous,
nasty, show up at YOUR home and threaten you, etc. etc.  That just means that
if your love has any sense at all, she'll get rid of the schmuck.  If she
doesn't, or says, `Well, that's just the way he is', you can boogie,
congratulating yourself on a narrow escape.

		thekid
		...![ brl-bmd, seismo, mcnc, we13, lime ]!rlgvax!thekid