From: utzoo!watmath!watarts!bernie
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: Why Do People Go out With...?
Article-I.D.: watarts.1806
Posted: Mon May  2 11:18:51 1983
Received: Tue May  3 04:56:58 1983
Reply-To: bernie@watarts.uucp (Bernie Roehl)
References: abnjh.128

That description sounds pretty good, though the word "jerk" conjures up
the wrong images.  The theory that women are attracted to jerks is false,
since it contradicts the common usage of the word "jerk" (e.g. "I'd never
go out with Tony, he's such a jerk").
It all too often comes down to a choice between being a "nice guy" and
finding platonic friendship, or being a "not-so-nice guy" and finding
intimacy.  It's a shame that that's the case, and it's nice to find women
for whom a "nice guy" is attractive; however, wishing doesn't make it so.
Deciding at the outset whether the woman you've just met is someone you
want as a friend or as a lover is important, since you will respond to
them in slightly different ways.  My experience is that most people are
willing to build a friendship with someone they're "involved" with, but
that adding a non-platonic aspect to an existing friendship is almost
always a *bad* idea.
The theory that "nice guys finish last" is not universally true, but in
human relationships it is often the case.  Your best bet is to find someone
who is genuinely attracted to "nice guys", even if such people are hard to
find.
				--Bernie Roehl
					...decvax!watmath!watarts!bernie