From: utzoo!hcr!tracy
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Re: Nice Guys
Article-I.D.: hcr.391
Posted: Thu May  5 14:45:47 1983
Received: Thu May  5 14:58:57 1983
References: <1814@watarts.UUCP>

Seems to me that the creeps I most often see women going out with are
the ones who use pressure-tactics and misdirection in their approach to
courtship.  They use techniques worthy of advertising to accentuate their
"good" and "exiting" qualities, and play down their "bad" and "creepy"
reality.  Eventually these women find themselves in a bad situation.
Sometimes it's after the've gotten married.

I know that I try not to portray anything that I am not.  Since I don't
realistically see myself as a knight in shining armor I am unlikely to
come across as one.  This has the advantage of making my relationships
more honest.  A woman may decide after knowing me for awhile that we do
not belong together, but it was the result of getting to know me better,
not discovering my cover-ups.

Someone suggested to me that we try to attribute to the people around
us qualities we like in ourselves.  If someone takes the time to flatter
you and give you attention, you want to make them credible and discriminating.
That there may be purely "political" motive behind the flattery is something
not often considered.  We should be skeptical but adventurous.

How many consumers are swayed by good advertising?  I think there is a
parallel.  Word of mouth and personal experience is a fine basis for
trust and quality, but the mass market is swayed by Amway tactics and
orchestrated campaigns.

Do most people shop for human beings (read:  reasoning humans that
change, have personal preferences, and intend to grow) or do they want to
find people to play roles (read:  a predictable set of emotional 
and physical reactions designed to increase security)?

Tracy Tims
(decvax!hcr!hcrvax!tracy)