From: utzoo!watmath!watarts!geo
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Aggressive/forthright women: I first meet one
Article-I.D.: watarts.1832
Posted: Sun May 15 02:49:35 1983
Received: Sun May 15 04:38:24 1983
References: rlgvax.379 hao.490

There have been a number of articles recently about women
asking men for dates.  Many of these articles have been complaints
from men complaining about the dearth of aggressive and/or
forthright women.

I used to complain about the dearth of aggressive, forthright women
too, until I actually met one.  It scared the sh*t out of me!  
My anecdote follows.

		I was a teen-ager, I was at a wine and cheese
	party following a conference for which a hero of mine
	and myself had been organizers.  I went up to join the
	conversation my hero was having with an attractive woman,
	of about his age (early 30s).
		Well the three of us were having a fine, wide-ranging
	conversation.  Somehow we started talking about renting
	a van, and the three of us, and their children (they were
	both divorced) travelling that summer.
		I wasn't sure I wanted to travel with them, there
	were some aspects I felt awkward about.  Namely, who was
	planning to sleep with whom.  But so far the talk had been
	pretty vague, so I felt OK.
		Well my hero was rather aggressive and forthright
	himself.  All of a sudden I heard him baldly suggest that
	the three of us retire to his place for a sexy adventure.
		Well, I didn't leave right away, as he was my hero,
	and I didn't want to appear unsophisticated in his eyes.
	I must have waited at least two minutes before I made my adieux.
		When I get flustered, or upset, I react by acting
	very formally.  The more upset I am the more formal I become.
	I gave the woman a little bow.  I extended my hand.  I smiled
	at her as I shook her hand and explained that it had been
	a real pleasure meeting her, but that unfortunately I had
	just remembered that I urgently needed to be somewhere else.

		If you had been watching me, you would have seen
	my smile melt and drain away when I finished speaking, and
	realized, SHE WAS STILL HOLDING ON TO MY HAND, AND SHE
	WASN'T GOING TO LET GO!
		Finally, after she saw me roll my eyes in pure terror,
	she relented and let go.  With a laugh she apologized, and
	explained that after her divorce she had decided to explore
	what it felt like to be aggressive, to go for what she wanted
	without waiting to be asked.

Well more power to her.  I honour her courage.  It was very
sobering to experience this reversal of the conventional roles.

In one of the previous articles I read tonight, the author said,
"Males have far stronger sex drives than females".  I don't agree
at all.  Rather I would say that it is culturally acceptable, indeed
expected, that males will take the lead in sexual encounters.

As I read the complaints in those other articles, I thought I sensed
an air of bravado from some of the complainants.  I couldn't help
wondering how they would react if they actually met a really
aggressive woman.