From: utzoo!decvax!decwrl!sun!megatest!fortune!hpda!hplabs!hao!seismo!harpo!floyd!cmcl2!philabs!sdcsvax!sdccsu3!ix222
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: more whens, hows, and wherefores of making your love go wanga-wanga
Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.615
Posted: Tue May  3 14:21:55 1983
Received: Wed May 18 00:45:55 1983

Re:  Ms. Moneypenny's cause and more

You people have given a pretty representative account of what
drives the lusting of the typical human male animal; a man's
attitudes strongly influence his behaviour around a given beauty.
if the beauty happens to sidle up, say softly 'I love you,' insert
her tongue halfway into his ear and give it a quarter twist, well,
she is likely to influence his attitudes.  that's human nature.

There are just a few more principles discovered on my vicarious
romantic journeyings that women bent on vamping their friends
oughta know about.  they can be perverted to suit, and 
even used to predict behavior, so i guess they are useful.  as are
most principles, they are actually generic; they appear in the 
female instantiation for clairity.  here they are ( thank you. 
you're welcome) --


	(@)	love tends to be endogenous in origin and the people
		who are exposed to it tend to be black body adsorbers.
		if you shower a person with an intense stream of high
		energy affection, you may elicit a simliar radiation 
		providing that the person was in a sufficiently excited
		state and that love is already present in sufficient 
		quantities along with the proper impurities.  it is this
		endogenousness ( endogenousnosity?) that explains why
		some sane people go out with complete jerks.  remember,
		in the dark, even red broccoli with blue cheese sauce
		doesn't look bad.

	(@)	friendship is a barrier to romance only when it preempts
		sexual behavior and sets precedent.  if you are a woman
		on a first date with someone you would like to know
		better, wait for him to do something nice for you, then
		smile and squeeze his arm or hand.  ( if he isn't the type
		to open doors or buy you a drink, ask for a small favor.
		if he won't grant it, make the two fingers next to
		your thumb stiff like a board, and drive them wham an inch and
		a half into the soft flesh just below his xiphoid process.
		you're better off without him.)  such a squeeze is not
		quite sexual innuendo, so you won't offend him, and, girl, 
		you're blazing trails.

	(@)	if he turns out to be attached, do the decent thing. tell
		him how lucky he is to have a such a wonderful woman
		for a friend.  if he protests vehemently that he had to
		buy her a mercedes before she would give him a date, and
		that his friend told him about tatoos in interesting places
		that he didn't know about, then the guy is fair game.
		

this has certainly been a fun article to write.  kebab anyone?

		steve serocki
		University of Californication at San Diego
		{ucbvax philabs};sdcsvax;sdccsu3;ix222