From: utzoo!decvax!harpo!seismo!uwvax!reid
Newsgroups: net.singles
Title: Dating somebody else's
Article-I.D.: uwvax.851
Posted: Thu Apr 28 02:27:55 1983
Received: Fri Apr 29 07:59:22 1983


Hmmm.  In response to whoever asked about trying to get involved with a MOPS
(Member Of Preferred Sex) who might already be involved with somebody else,
I can interject a little bit.  I am currently getting pretty interested in a
woman who has apparently been seeing her current boyfriend for around 3 years.
I did not really entertain any thoughts toward her, based on this, but she
has pretty much encouraged me to think along those lines, and so I have.  At
this point I am definitely interested, but I wonder about my position.  We
have never actually talked about Him, but I know of his existence, and so 
does she.  So far I have just gone on walks with her, dinner dates, dropping
in unexpectedly with a pizza, and the like.  I have no idea how things will
shape up, if she will balk at any further progress, or what.  I can foresee
lots of potential problems:  If I coerce her away from this guy and then lose
interest, I will be doing a very bad thing.  Therefore I have to be really
interested in her before I do that, which puts pressure on me because she may
decide that she'd be better off with Him, leaving me with a overgrown crush
and nowhere to take it.  It is also usually difficult to deal with a persn
immediately following another relationship, for various reasons.  You keep
finding socks, or she is attuned more to his peculiarities or habits than
yours, which invites comparisons, or her friends decide you don't measure up,
or whatever.  You just have to hold your head up, be amazingly straightforward,
(not rude, just honest), and try your best to be dynamic, fun, and a welcome
change from anybody she might have been previously dating.  You've got to have
pretty much confidence in yourself, methinks.

Glenn (..seismo!uwvax!reid)