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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!hao!csu-cs!silver
From: silver@csu-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.cooks
Subject: No-bake cheesecake humor (?)
Message-ID: <2392@csu-cs.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 4-Sep-83 02:28:59 EDT
Article-I.D.: csu-cs.2392
Posted: Sun Sep  4 02:28:59 1983
Date-Received: Mon, 5-Sep-83 04:11:39 EDT
Lines: 42


Thank you, bunkerb!dana, for that great cheesecake  recipe!  As a person
who  hates to follow  instructions  and  seldom  prepares  fancy  dishes
anyway,  I must  say,  the  recipe  was  quite  simple  and the  results
delectable  (I just had some...  yum).  I'd like to repeat the recipe in
terms that should be even  clearer to hackers like me (e.g., I took some
license with it)...


	2 packages soft cream cheese (you know, the mushy white stuff in
		the  silver  wrappings  that  doesn't  really  come from
		Philadelphia after all; anyway, a package is about 8oz.)
	1 teaspoon vanilla  extract  (which is more alcohol than vanilla
		and pretty strong so this part you GOTTA measure)
	1/4 cup sugar (but  honey  works fine too and in fact the result
		is so rich you might wanna even use less)
	8 ounces cool whip (the fluffy stuff devoid of nutritional value
		that you can squirt all over your  [MH]OT[OS]S  and lick
		off, or buy in the nice reusable plastic container)

   "Blend all  together  until creamy with no lumps."  This is where you
   get to  join(1)  all the raw data in a big buffer and then  filter it
   through merge(1m) with the -thick option, I mean, it starts out ultra
   lumpy and icky  looking  and you have to work hard to mix it.  Try an
   electric  beater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick
   it off the ceiling(3m).

   "Pour into a graham cracker  crust..." Aha, the BUGS section at last.
   You just  happened  to have a GCC  sitting  around  under  /etc/food,
   right?  If not, don't panic(8), merely crumble a rand(3m)  handful of
   innocent GCs into a suitable  tempfile and mix in some melted butter,
   that's what my honey said anyway, but it took too long to melt on top
   of the terminal so I used honey instead and it worked fine.

   "...and  refrigerate for an hour." Even if you have an old-style air-
   conditioned  computer  room, no, it probably  isn't cold  enough, you
   will have to do better.  Leave the  recipe's  stdout in a fridge  for
   3.6E6  milliseconds  while you work on cleaning up stderr, and by the
   time you time out your cheesecake will be ready for stdin.

>From the blender of
Alan "if you waste time cooking you miss the next meal" Silverstein