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From: barryg@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Barry Gold)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Re: To smoke or not to smoke
Message-ID: <461@sdcrdcf.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 22-Aug-83 16:42:34 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdcrdcf.461
Posted: Mon Aug 22 16:42:34 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 25-Aug-83 23:33:47 EDT
References: <202@cbosgd.UUCP>
Reply-To: barryg@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Barry Gold)
Organization: System Development Corporation, Santa Monica
Lines: 57

A NICE EXAMPLE OF RESOLVING THE SMOKER/NON-SMOKER PROBLEM THAT WILL HELP
ENHANCE FUTURE COOPERATION:

(This probably isn't flamelike enough for this newsgroup, but this is
where the smoking discussion is, so...)

A friend of mine is extremely bothered by cigarette smoke.  Some brands
cause her to become actively nauseous in under a minute.  She and her
husband were eating in a sushi bar when a Japanese gentleman lit up one
of the worse brands only a few seats away.  (see note for cultural discussion)

Her husband went over and politely told the gentleman about his wife's
problem and asked him to refrain.  The gentleman put out his cigarette,
but looked slightly miffed (again, see note).  The husband noticed this,
and ordered a bottle of sake to be delivered to the Japanese gentleman to
thank him for his consideration.  They then became quite friendly.

NOTE:  If you eat sushi and don't smoke, you know that smoking at a sushi
bar is stupid; the flavors are quite delicate and can be totally obscured
by nearby smoke, much less actually pulling the stuff over your tongue.
I doubt a smoker can taste anything but the texture and the horseradish
after subjecting his tongue to tobacco smoke.

BUT, if you've ever been to a sushi bar in an area with a large Japanese
population, and especially if you've been to Japan, you know that the
Japanese smoke far more than Americans do, and that they frequently light
up at sushi bars while waiting for the sushi chef to make up their orders.
It is part of the normal order of things, and anyone asking them to change
this is clearly asking them to go way out of their way to do a favor for
a stranger.

By offering the gentleman a drink, my friend changed (in the gentleman's
eyes) from a barbarian who was asking him to forego his pleasure for a
stranger's convenience, to a fellow gentleman who understood the net of
obligation (giri and gimu) that goes with asking and receiving a favor.

THE MORAL:  If you ask a smoker to refrain, and he does, try to find some
gesture that shows you consider the relationship to be two-way.  In many
cases, a hearty Thank You will do, but at least don't take it for granted.

It should be obvious from all the flaming on this subject that our society
has not reached anything LIKE a consensus on the subject of smoking in
public.  Therefore, we who don't smoke can't take the smoke-free environment
we desire for granted.

If you want to know where I'm coming from, I'm a non-smoker who assiduously
avoids smoke because of a heart condition.  I also oppose anti-smoking laws.
The last arose at first from principle (I'm also a libertarian), but is
now a matter of practicality as well.  I've read about prohibition, and I
lived through the 60s version - the drug controversy.  I'd rather not have
any more unpopular, unenforceable laws around to give people the idea
that they don't have to obey the important ones (against murder, stealing,
etc.)

Barry Gold
	ARPANET: BARRYG@MIT-MC
	UUCP: ...decvax!trw-unix!sdcrdcf!barryg