Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!cca!ima!inmet!jlp
From: jlp@inmet.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Re: Orphaned Response - (nf)
Message-ID: <289@inmet.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 31-Aug-83 18:50:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: inmet.289
Posted: Wed Aug 31 18:50:00 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 1-Sep-83 10:56:51 EDT
Lines: 81

#R:vortex:-9600:inmet:3900047:177600:3740
inmet!jlp    Aug 29 14:51:00 1983

Yes, Lauren, our rotaries ARE quite interesting. Unknown to foreigners, though
(anyone not regularly a driver in Massachusetts in general, Eastern Mass. in
particular), there is a system of priorities at the rotaries. I will try to
delineate them ( from highest to lowest):

	1. Tanks. Noone I know of has ever failed to yield to one. When 
	   aggravated, they simply keep on rolling, thereby maintaining
	   their right-of-way. Anyone who seriously tries to cut one off
	   is warmly greeted by the crane in their turrets.


	2. Buses: MBTA version. These vehicles have the size and quickness
	   ( they would make great linebackers ), and the experience in
	   T drivers, who are able to pick holes 3 times better than Tony
	   Dorsett. T buses regularly can slip through a rotary against the
	   flow of the main line, causing the imfamous "backed up to Lake
	   St. on Rte. 2" class of delay.

	3. Trucks. They have size, but no quickness. The trucks are rated
	   this high only because they tend to be loss leaders when 
	   neophytes ( Boston drivers under the age of 16 ) and foreigners
	   try to take them on the way Boston natives do. Nevertheless,
	   regular truck drivers in the area are quite successful, since they
	   know the best ways to get around the Storrow Drive/Memorial Dr.
	   prohibition against trucks.

	4. Buses: Greyhound/Trailways/etc. version. They have size and
	   quickness, but foreign passengers to consider. They can't afford
	   class action suits for mass hysteria victims.

	5. Taxi Drivers. Faster than a speeding T bus, more powerful than
	   a fully armed tank, able to leap potholes in a single gearshift,
	   hacks do not have to worry about mass hysteria suits: natives
	   know not to take them, and foreigner become so hysterical they
	   invariably fail to notice that Boston cabbies don't post their
	   hackney licenses.

	6. Pre-1970 Automobiles. Beware. Most of these are living on borrowed
	   time, with enough oxidized metal in their bodies to coat a case
	   of cassette tapes. Their drivers are looking for a quick way out
	   of carrying the horrendous insurance rates on such death traps,
	   and will stop at nothing that doesn't endanger their own life.
	   Consequently, "rust-buckets" have earned a respect second only
	   to tanks.

	7. Dented car: luxury class. Any high-priced car driver who hasn't
	   fixed one dent doesn't mind getting another. Watch out. They also
	   take up more lanes than an MBTA bus ( from whom they probably got
	   the first dent: T drivers LOVE to take out Caddies!). 

	8. Dented car: large. They love to pick on VW Rabbits and ANYTHING
	   from Japan, Inc. Usually harmless to all the aforementioned 
	   drivers.

	9. Dented car: compact. The largest class of cars in the Boston 
	   area. There are actually some very good drivers out there who
	   unfortunately did not read their maps carefully when they came
	   to the area, and figured rotaries were just where Kiwanis and 
	   Optimist International met.

       10. Any-car-driven-by-someone-over-80-at-10-MPH. They very quickly
	   become one of the aforementioned categories.

       11. VW Rabbits and Beetles. The Beetle would literally be blown
	   out of a rotary by anything larger than a German Shepherd.
	   The Rabbit has been designated to carry on the family tradition.

       12. Japan, Inc. Boston drivers are fiercely patriotic, and use this
	   class as a scapegoat for all imports. Drivers of this class 
	   should take advantage of their high gas mileage and go thirty
	   blocks out of their way.

       13. Sensible Drivers. Anyone with any sense will give up the right
	   of way, whether on or approaching the rotary.


Jerryl Payne
{harpo,ima}!inmet!jlp